onesweetblister

2006-10-10T13:02:00.000+08:00

for people who continue to read my blog; nanyang junior college is having its inaugural open house this fridae, the 13th of october.. its from 2 to 5 pm interested people please do come.

2006-03-03T10:07:00.000+08:00

ok so ive been tagged.. reason to why im actually blogging.. anyway... im supposed to list down 8 qualities of my perfect lover and then tag 8 other poeple to actually do the same so here goes... 1. has to be older and taller than i am [there is only one guy in this whole world that i would love to go out with thats youger.. and i cant possible be the one doing the bending down to kiss my lover can i] 2. has to seriously be a hairless chicken [i have enuff hair to cover the both of us.. and i need a hairless or a not-so-hairy guy to balance it out] 3. has to be romantic [self explanatory] 4.has to listen to me complaining about stuff 5. encourages me to do new stuff... [i can be pretty reluctant to change... or try new stuff, once i have my head fixed about smth.. so yeah.. coax me babe] 6. respect me, love me and pamper me..? 7.noes how to lead me 8. this is the best : just seriously have a good heart...

2006-02-24T09:30:00.000+08:00

ok.. so i havent been updating a lot... so... anyway... i just wana like comment on smth... i realised that 2 of my friends have had anon taggers on their blogs and and and i really really suspect that its a year 1... really.. i mean for both of them i think its a year one.. but u noe wat zu and fyda.. let them freaking be... theyll tag tillthey get tired of it... everything else about me is well.. fine yeah thats all.. toodles

2006-01-24T08:26:00.000+08:00

soo.. im actually supposed to be umm.. reseraching and printing out stuff for gp.. i have and now imlike waiting for my partner in crime to finish hers.. hahah... weve been reading up a lot on the kkk... and goddd... i mean the hate crimes theyve commited and all.. its terrifying.. i mean theyre standing up for the aryan race and all.. but i dunnoee... that umm sounds passe'... im not trying to diss or anything.. just my opinion.. i mean were in a globalsed world and stuff.. shouldnt we be thinking and wrking for our own success rather than be worried about all these race issues.. i think its work together not race together...

so... anyhows.. umm... aaron is working and working... and i soent vlitle tie with him nowadeas.. and i dun get to talk to him much... and yeah.. i do miss him... i mean he calls me late at nite when im already asleep.. and half the time... more like most of the time, i cant remember what we talked about.. i mean we have a lot to catch up on.. i mean, just last week, i nearly lost my relationship with him.. and thats shit scary... i mean call me sappy or naive or whatever, but i noe that i dun wanna lose him.. and i noe that for sure.. sure he may noe be drop dead gorgeous or smart or have a high paying job.. but.. hes mine and i dn wanna lose him.. period.

ok... think ill have to pester my mate to hurry up.. before we get reprimanded... theres only 11 more mins to gp... hahhahks

toodles

2006-01-19T20:49:00.000+08:00

wat do u do when the things u put a lot of heart into doesnt turn out the wae it shud..? apparently this happens to me alot.. like a real lot.. and i really mean a lot.. so much so that now i think i understand why i have my name for a name... so anyway... again my question is : wat do u do when the things u put a lot of heart into doesnt turn out the wae it shud..?? i thought of 2 options.. more like tried and tested these two options.. 1. to fight back and 2. to actually give up and just do what is given to u.. well.. ive spent a whole lota time fighting back years and years ago.. but i end up getting soo goddamnfucking tired of fighting and it never proved tobe worth it.. cos i never end up getting wat i want and i end up getting hurt... so then that led me to think.. when things doesnt go my way, i shud just drop it and just do wat is required of me.. and thats wat im doing.. well.. yeah people are pissed but hey, i dun see why its only me receiving blames here.. i mean dint they sae no one else is capable..? and i cant fucking work together if i duno whats going on.. yea guess ucan blame it on me that i duncome for stuff.. but u see.. im being put in charge of things that well.. are either not in my field [which im often required for] or thats out of my timetable.. yes darling, i noe i have to stay back in schooland i will when the time comes.. but i dun see anyone else doing the things that im to do.. yes say that they have other things to do.. and ill sae the same..i have other things to do.. i cant help in dikir... i dun even noe how to.. u can tell me to hound them down to come for practise.. that i can do.. i duno wat is tepuk sepuluh.. im not wat u call very malay.. u complain that people have to wait for me.. but darling, i have waited longer and far more..sae im unprofessional.. but until other change of events, my thursdaes arent free cos i have my other responsibilities.. and at the same time.. im juggling the responsibilities that u entrust in me.. this isnt a confrontational or smth.. im not angry or peeved.. i tried placing myslef in ur shoes.. and i can understand where ure coming from.. this is just smth that has been in my head for a while and i make this as peaceful as ever.. cos im not strting a war or anything.. i am soo sick of wars and confrontations.. its too passe and childish.. maybe smth that u shud keep in mind..? i may not be a fav of yours.. thats ok.. just smth that i see and realise.. y blog than tell u..? u see, i fear it may not come out the wae i want it to be.. and wat i want is for it to be peaceful..

2006-01-17T20:07:00.000+08:00

todae, i painstakingly learnt a Vharsh and important lesson.. that in life u cant trust nobody... NOBODY AT ALL.. not even ur family ure all alone in life.. i dunt wana blog about wat happened.. all i have to sae is i dint ask to be born to my mum or dad.. i dint ask them to not be their parents favs.. i had no part whatsoever to incur my grandparents wrath for my paretns.. u dun have to despise or look down on me just because u dun like one of my parents.. fine hate me for a sin i dint do - being their child. and all of u procliam to be so god damn fucking HOLY..well holy people dun act like that.. holy, religious people do not bear grudges at all.. fuckers

2006-01-01T18:00:00.000+08:00

ok so.. my mum is having a go at me.. and its a bad go... real bad.. its like her mouth is powered by a battery that doesnt go dead... its true... but oh well.. i can still contain myself and just shut up.. keep thinking that schools ina few daes.. well.. haha... my new years eve and umm morning was well... umm a whole mix of things.. well.. i went out to spend my countdown with mr bonnie and my frens.. and well... it was a whole interesting thing... well.. me and mr bonnie had umm.. a fight and well sweet mos... hahha.. and the fight wasnt even about us... thats why we alwaes fight.. fight about stuff that is not related to us.. as in.. not cos hes seeing another gerl or im looking at another guy.. it is seriously about other people... ahha.. well so yeah. we went to esplanade.. for the countdown... and yeah.. i did have fun despite well.. someone testing my patience..and hahah.. my ferst ever new year kiss.. hahaha.. think it was nice.. with the fireworks at the background and all.. i was smiling all the wae thru... after that, we went to dte.. and had supper [or is it breakfast?..] haha.. and then we walked around for a bit.. and then we headed homee... and that was like at 4.. so thats why shes having a huge go atme.. oh well.. least i did smth.. and it was fun.. but i cant deny that i wish it would have been slightly better... better finish up my homework.. tootsies

2005-12-26T23:45:00.000+08:00

Your Personality Is

Idealist (NF) You are a passionate, caring, and unique person. You are good at expressing yourself and sharing your ideals. You are the most compassionate of all types and connect with others easily. Your heart tends to rule you. You can't make decisions without considering feelings. You seek out other empathetic people to befriend. Truth and authenticity matters in your friendships. In love, you give everything you have to relationships. You fall in love easily. At work, you crave personal expression and meaning in your career. With others, you communicate well. You can spend all night talking with someone. As far as your looks go, you've likely taken the time to develop your own personal style. On weekends, you like to be with others. Charity work is also a favorite pastime of yours.

The Three Question Personality Test

2005-12-26T22:38:00.000+08:00

rightos is anyone else doing their holidae homework nowww?? like last minute if u are say aye! my goodness.... there are a lot of things tobe done that are not done and i duno when i will ever complete them all... i shall force myself to finish sastera tonight before i hit the sack.. maybe i can try and have a bit of a go on the second one i have not read any of my history stuff.. and i need to write an effing 5 page essay.. i have not read or done econs.. and im supposed to find a blardi article on it and im not sure whether i even understand it at all.. crap crap crap.. weeelll...... went out with mr bonnie just noww... after not seeing him for sucha long time.. miss him lotsa... oohhh... his exgf was on this telemovie that was aired on the tube yesterdae.. uuber shocked.. haha.. mean i was telling him that eh she looks like her.. and later later i found out that it was her.. hahah... wahh... now she famous ahh... oh well.. kuddos to her.. and im really 50kg now... i am soo not kidding... being 50 now officially allows me to call myself fat.. rite... and mr bonnie keeps on poking at my flabs.. doesnt make me feel any better.. i need to lose some weight.. before the ferst phys ed lesson... i still wana be 40 ish.. even if its 49.5kg.. altho i can imagine my frens telling me that im crazy.. hehe.. oh well.. thats just an aim.. not sure when ill acheive it...

2005-12-26T11:07:00.000+08:00

im back in singapore

and umm.. yeah.. now im left with lotsa work to do..

have to finishup tons of stuff

and well.. im running out of time cos schools gonna reopen soon

think im gonna scout round for new blogskins.. im bored of mine already...

right

so later later

2005-12-19T20:11:00.000+08:00

as my mum has so not nicely reminded me i am to tell everyone that im going away for three daes and thus my cellphone will be inactive hence there will be no contact for and from me aites i have to publicly apologize to my dear nurul m fo not attending her chalet todae.. forgive me yes dear..? later daes.. loves

2005-12-19T10:58:00.000+08:00

How I wish I could surrender my soul;

Shed the clothes that become my skin;

See the liar that burns within my needing.

How I wish I'd chosen darkness from cold.

How I wish I had screamed out loud,

Instead I've found no meaning.

I guess it's time I run far, far away;

find comfort in pain,

All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.

Hides my true shape, like Dorian Gray.

I've heard what they say, but I'm not here for trouble.

It's more than just words: it's just tears and rain.

How I wish I could walk through the doors of my mind;

Hold memory close at hand,

Help me understand the years.

How I wish I could choose between Heaven and Hell.

How I wish I would save my soul.

I'm so cold from fear.

I guess it's time I run far, far away; find comfort in pain,

All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.

Hides my true shape, like Dorian Gray.

I've heard what they say, but I'm not here for trouble.

Far, far away; find comfort in pain.

All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.

It's more than just words: it's just tears and rain.

[tears and rain-james blunt]

2005-12-16T23:14:00.000+08:00

if u trinkle

when u sprinkle

be a sweetie

and wipe the seatie

ok.. hahhaha.. thats random..

just feel like blogging..

well... i think sometimes im over paranoid..

i can think of the most weirdest possibilities.. i mean this might not be new to well.. some.. but i am an absolute worry wart.. and like i can be on my tippy toes all the time.. and then i get soo tired of it.. then i get mad at myself...

k fine

ill spill..

i feel detached from myself again.. and i so do not know why.. i think its becos i worry too much.. maybe.. oh well..

things have been happening to my frens.. i dun wana sound mean but i dun want that to happen to me.. i mean i know why and how come it happened and stuff.. but i worry that that would happen to me too.. and i keep imagining how id be...

bah..

shall forget about this crap..

if the skies want me to forget u,

id rather foret myself.

if the skies want me to not remember u,

id rather lose my memory forever.

if the skies want me to leave u,

id rather leave this world than leave u

becos i love u!

thats what mr bonnie sent me yesterdae.. its just smth in my head.. not trying to boast about it or smth.. its not what ure thinking..

2005-12-14T20:58:00.000+08:00

ok so ive self grounded myself...

cos of well.. my bill.. rocketed through the seven layers of sky man...

i guess i think that by grounding myself, im trying to make myself feel better..

and now well shes at it again..

i dun think shes going to stop...

whatever

i am effing pissed

ive been Vpatient.. i noe she has a right and all.. but my goodness, stuff it.. and if im going to go through this in kl.. on my now so-called holidae.. i am seriously going to die.. and i cun find another person logical enough to replace me... i cun stand her for 3 daes without my freedom...i can stand her for the nites when shes at home, other than that.. god.. i think i shall seriously go insane..

and she just said, its never going to be over..

bloody fuck..

i think i shall really carry out my plan.. the plan i made since i was 14..

crap.. i cun stand her and my fucking kiss-her-ass brother...

i shall start holing myself up again..

shall bury myself with all the other work im actually supposed to do.. shud try and finish one now..

tootsies

2005-12-06T10:21:00.000+08:00

im back... im back in humid singapore.. ive been away in jakarta.. and ive only got back this sundae... the trip was for 10 daes.. i actually missed singapore like crazy.. missed the people here.. missed the food.. my goodness the food... but now im back.. i can actually say its great to be back.. hahhahah

2005-11-23T22:20:00.000+08:00

i havent been blogging for an absolute long time.. and i noe some of my frens are wondering why i have been quiet.. hahah.. well.. im still alive and well..

what shall i blog about yeah...

letseee

ferst would be maths paper.. the maths paper was alright i think.. least i hope my marks for it would turn out alright.. i mean if iknew all of a maths like the back of my hand, i would be able to get a Vgood score.. cos its not that difficult at all.. im not being cocky but its true.. there are hard/difficult questions obviously, but it wasnt THAT hard..

second, hmm.. the november babies birthdaes..hmm dint celebrate all four of theirs but obviously celebrated mr bonnies.. duh.. welll went out to eat and stuff... yeahh.. took lotsa pictures..

im not typing much cos at the same time im actually packing mystuff for fridae.. i noe some duno that im leaving.. yeap.. i am.. yeah people.. leaving for jakarta for 10 daes.. yeah...

tootsies

2005-11-10T16:27:00.000+08:00

i realised todae that there are quite a number of people around me who care.. i mean yea, theyre my friends, but its not as tho were Vclose or anything.. just that its comforting to know that there is sumone u can count on tho ure not close u knoe.. haha moving on PROJECT WORK is officially OVER.. i cant describe the elation and relief i feel... hahah... it sounds as tho its a killer.. hahha.. in a way it is.. but yea, i mean i did learn stuff from it and all.. and i feel soo blessed that my group was my group, despite all my complains about them.. i mean i dont think i could have asked for a better group combination other than NY034... they really surprised me towards the end and they realy made up for watever they lost in the end u noe, so im happy about it.. but.. haiz.. i think i kinda screwed up my bit of the presentation, i mean, yea i kinda memorised it and stuff.. but sumhow, sumwhere there, i began to start to jumble up my words and i started to stutter a bit.. shits.. and i kpet saying sorry and sorry... cos i fumbled... haiya.. oh well.. cun do anything about it now.. the qna.. i was one of the unlucky two whom they asked 2 questions.. thinking back, i cant remember what the questions were.. haha.. but i kinda remembered what i said.. and i hope that my qna made up for my fumble in the presentation u noe.. i really hope i get a good grade cos of this.. now... no more pw to think about only MATHs.. ahh.. hahha.. id really better start cracking shit.. i really really need to pass... really need to.. found out smth todae.. dun really wana blog about that... tootsies..

2005-11-08T19:48:00.000+08:00

yes... hes safe in australia... dun ask how i know.. i know how.. and hahahah.. soo happyyyy...hahaaha.. he told me he bought for me some stuff.. and i wonder what.. pw op in a few daes.. hiaz.. were more or less done.. but like somehow theres alwaes something for us to do u noe.. its like never ending.. haiya.. i cun wait for op to be over.. i really cant.. but before that, ill have to prepare my inr ferst.. haiya... crap... well.. another thing that has been in my head is my maths paper.. i am sooo UNPREPARED for it.. and im down to my last week already.. ineed that 6 badly man.. shit..i think i shall start burning midnight oil already.. shit man.. i really need to buck up a lot and i have Vlitle daes left.. like for todae, i went to school to do op, then i called fai cos of smth and then went to west mall to meet her and nurul m.. i swear the north-south train is uber slow, or maybe its just me.. im not trying to offend my northern friends.. but i really think it is.. and ive been on the north-south train lotsa times this week and each time i find myself thinking whenis this gonna end?.. but when im on the east-west train, im like woohoo.. fun fun and i dun find myself thinking that.. haha.. im complaining about trains.. hahah.. ok. so back to the story, i went to west mall and met them, we at at the old man kentucky... and yeah.. im still fulll.. and then we went home, then borrowed some books and i got home and slept.. and now im on the comp.. where in this whole para have i talked about doing maths?.. this whole dae, i havent even touched my book.. thats it.. im going to touch it.. tootsies

2005-11-07T09:30:00.000+08:00

i havent been blogging much... that i realised... why?.. cos i dunnoeee... i guess.. i just wanted to live in my own world for a bit... live with mr bonnie around..

god shit man... im crying... mr bonnies gone... he left... he left for australia... just... shit shit... keep telling myself that hell be back in a week.. but somehow thats just not working... i havent cried for a pretty long time man.. keep thinking that good least i can study for my exams.. but can i? i guess ill just have to make myself study.. i need to freaking pass my maths paper... i need to get a 6... crap man..

hari raya.. well.. was like that.. like how its always been.. not changed.. except that i spent two houses with mr bonnie.. haha.. letsee... how did he spent his ferst dae of hari raya.. well.. he spent it buying a car.. the second dae.. he went to cityhall.. he went out on the third dae... the third dae.. he went out with me.. to my friends place.. where.. haha.. he kinda got teased by her granddad.. the fourth dae, yesterdae.. we went to his friends place.. who claims he saw me before at a gig.. but i cant remember.. haha.. oh well..

the bloody bitch smsed me that dae.. aka.. my fathers wife.. it simply shows that she married him for money.. which i would gladly tell he doesnt have... which she has painfully realised.. i dont noe her motive for smsing me all her problems.. i told her i dun wana noe any other things about them.. i told her that its your problem not mine and now wae in hell am i going to let my father come near my mother again.. u can have him for all i care..

i miss mr bonnie..

2005-11-04T11:12:00.000+08:00

wooohooo... im baccckkkkkk... hahahhahha... soo many things to say.. ookkk.. hahah... the coms finally plugged back in... and and... ITS PLUGGED IN MY ROOM... hahahha.... oookkkk.... so ferst.... MY BIRTHDAY!! hahahha...welll.. thank u yea... for all the prezzies and messages and the testimonials and calls... to simply wish me happy birthdae... hahah... welll... thank u red table gerls for gooinggg out yea... thank u mr bonnie for the big, shocking and unexpected present... hahah... for letting the whole of suntec know that it was my bdae and that im special.. hahah... loves so its the second day of raye... hahah selamat hari raya to all the muslim readers... maaf zahir dan batin ya... dun feel like blogging much.. tootsies...

2005-10-27T13:49:00.000+08:00

sooooo... ive had a very interesting morning.. hahhaha... shant elaborate.... sick... not at sch todae.. and the poh dint call me.. guess she noes that im not faking it.. and welll... hmm mr bonnie... had to go on ship twice... crap.. so last minute.. was sweet to me.. haha.. but it kinda backfired on him, cos i was already awake... welll... yeah.. i sorta noe where hes bringing me for my dear bdae.. hahahhahah... think hes sleeping now.. oh oh.. he might be gone for a whole month next month... work... which means he wont be here on his bdae.. sad sad.. haizzz... he can be such a stubborn idiote.. oh weeellll....

2005-10-25T12:03:00.000+08:00

[Note: red table gerls.. 28 october, fridae, at 5.45 pm dhoby ghaut mrt station.. dun be late...]

soo.. yesterdays entry was published todae.. like just a few sec before this entry.. cos my dear monitor just went blank on me.. and im really sorry to the people i was chatting with.. i didnt mean to be rude..but it just happened.. truly sorry..

well.. im at home todae.. im really sick.. i think im not going to continue with my fast.. i feeel soo weakk..and i hate that.. i hate feeling weak cos im sick.. i really honestly do.. and because im sick todae, my group members have to piece the oral presentation by themselves todae.. and i gues.. i really just have to give them the benefit of doubt that it would not be a failure.. because our dry run is tomorrow.. and its supposed to be like the real thing... and im Vworried that it wount turn out good cos my voice is gone.. it takes me a lot of energy to just talk.. and after i talk talk, im left feeling weak.. like now.. cos i just ended talking to mr bonnie.. ithink people would think, yes finally the world is a much quieter place cos im shutting up.. hahha.. oh well.. you can have your glory there.. for now.. hahah.. oh well.. its ok..

i have to kinda make something clear.. its about mr bonnie.. now, hes not my mr bonnie.. hes not my bf.. its just that now.. well.. were going out.. were umm.. letsee seeing each other more like it.. nope.. hes not my boyfriend.. and i guess it would be a bit too early.. ive really known him for about a month.. cos its been slightly over a month since he ferst smsed me.. so yea.. so umm.. haha.. nothing THAT interesting happened with mr bonnie.. not since the last entry.. for the last entry.. well, something happened.. but im not tellinggg... hahahah... ;)

4 more daes to my bdae...

4 more daes to finding out what he has planned

3 more daes to pizza hut

3 more daes to catching up with the red table gerls...

2 more daes to almost freedom

1 more dae to oral presentation dry run

crap.. tootsies

2005-10-24T20:04:00.000+08:00

[Note: red table gerls.. if u read this.. its on 28 october 2005, friday, at 1745 that is 5.45 pm at dhoby ghaut mrt station, well be heading to plaza singapura for pizza there..]

i do not feel well at all..i feel absolutely sick.. physically ill.. not mentally or emotionally.. bummer mann.. hopefully i get over it soon.. before my birthday comes.. ive been sick on my bdae.. and i dint wwellll.. only wana go through that once.. cos this year..well this year is welll .. abit different.. i guess.. todae i did not exactly do much at school i left early.. ten ish.. and after that well.. i met mr bonnie... and well.. yea.. kinda spent the whole dae with him.. he brought me to marina square.. and godd.. i love love tat place.. FAI we shuud goo there...!!! its newly opened.. and its absolute heaven.. like the whole row of shops are like meant for us.. hahah really really..i still question his motive for bringing me there.. he said he purposely wanted to bring me there.. and im like.. hmm... why..?? i mean i thot hes already sussed out wat i wanted for my bdae.. hahah.. or rather wat hes giving me..he still tells me that he has already planed out where to bring me and all.. but i still have no clue.. the only clue that hes given me is that its going to be at city hall.. and hes promised that whatever he has planned would not make me sweat, wet and that he would not push me and that he would not throw me anywhere.. hahah.. i hope that covers all the grounds.. somehow im not that sure.. hahah.. oh well.. he keeps telling me that its a surprise.. and it has to remain as a surprise.. but i kinda like todaes date... i guess.. hhahaha.. it was pretty sweet to the end.. like in the train.. haha.. but well.. he still keeps his exgf pics on him.. and well hes said to be over her .. welll bot exaclt over.. but u get the idea..... im stopping here.. the coms being a bitch

2005-10-23T19:38:00.000+08:00

hmmm ok... so todae.. well not much happened... normal sundaes i guess.. except theres no mad todae.. so i guess that should be about normal.. hahahha... hmm sooo.. letsee.. wat happened ya.. well... yesterdae i had well i quite fun time chatting with this guy from school hahah.. i never knew u noee.. hahah..its not the gatal kinda i never knew.. but like oohhh ookkk i really dint noe.. dint think.. well... kai said that she was beginning to think whether i was dead or not os i havent been talking to her much.. haha.. kai kai... call me lahh deyy check whether i m still alive.. hahah.. but yes i am still alive and breathing..talking about whether i calling... mr bonniehas figured it out for himslef that if he doesnt hear me for a few daes, he has reason to worry.. hahha.. he said hed be wondering if hes irritated me ornot.. hahha.. cute.. he really listens.. i was telling him about aidil and shibly.. why i avoid them and all.. and yea.. he picked up from there u see.. hahha.. ;).. and todae.. dang u noe.. cos he made me tell about mhk and all.. about 290204 and all.. then yea.. dang.. hahha.. i mean ive been keeping it fomo him.. a loong while now.. and now.. he noes.. hahha.. and he wants to noe about mimr.. i told him that he has totell me about his exgfs.. before i do that.. and i am soo not kidding.. hahha.. ill prolly change the subject or smth.. and i keep telling him that hes lucky.. Vlucky.. lucky that i stood there to wait for himand lucky that i actually reply his smses and talk to him.. hahha.. i dono why i did that... i mean why i still do that.. and i dont knoe why.. chemistry.. i guess.. hahah.. 6daes to my bdae..

2005-10-22T19:36:00.000+08:00

[note: red table gerls if ure reading this.. we are eating out at pizza hut on the 28 of october.. fai cant make i ton the 29th.. so any clarifications just call me or tag] i havent been blogging lately.. i noe its not a long long kinda lately.. but i think it was quite weird that i was turned off by the pc yesterdae.. cos i had the whole house all to myself... and i was determined as hell not to use it.. hahahah... so this morning.. my mum dragged me to the doctors... for the pain behind my ear thingy... it turns out that she cun really see it... she, the gp, can only like feel it.. and she deduced it to be an infection.. wat infection.. something... hahah... so yea... but i was umm thinking that maybe u noe.. i exagerated it a bit... u noee.. i mean yea it hurts but.. u noee.. hahha.. i was shocked that mommy actually wanted to bring me to he doctor after i complained about it once... so well... yea.. so bright and early in the morning i was whisked off to the doctor.. and since we were there my mum bought the necessary medication i would need for my indon trip.. yea... so... but now.. i have to take antibiotics for the infection..and its bitter as hell reall bitterrr... and the reason is because.. its in syrup form.. if i knew it was going to be this bitter maybe i would have just stuck to the capsules.. hhah.. the antibiotics itself was well... umm in a wee bit weird form.. i dun think im going to finish the whole course.. i think maybe a bottle only.. haha.. sshh.. dun tell my mommy.. well... the gp said that part of the reason why i got that infection was because i havent been sleeping well and all.. and i think well.. haha.. thats definitely true.. pw or otherwise.. and i guess it wont be ending anitime soon.. cos... by next week onwards its maths maths maths... and of course my presentation.. i cant wait to get it done and over with and at the same time i dont want to do badly for my maths paper and waste my mommys money... i must at least pass.. and i dun have that much time left.. well..mr bonnie didnt really get the hint about the insufficient sleep part.. hahah.. oh well... hahah... not as if id let him anyway.. so yesteray during the dae.. i met him abit... a short bit that is.. but when night came... hahah.. or rather early morning came.. well..hahah.. we were talking alot... hahah.. we were talking about my birthdae.. wat he has plans.. in which i absolutely have no idea about.. hahah.. hes goodd... going out with him on the 29th... hahah... and this afternoon.. well..haah.. we were opening up a lot... a whole lot.. i told him about shibly and aidill.. and i told him that i felt choked up with him once.. and i told him that hes lucky i stood there to meet him.. and he told me that when he ferst went to mee me he said he was blushing all the wae.. hahahha sweet.. i told him that i dint see him blush.. and i said that my fren would have said some thing also... hahah.. but i looked back at the picture i took with him... and well.... his ears were red... hahahahhah.. so i guess he was blushing.. hhahahha.. cute ahh... tootsies 7 more daes to my bdae

theres this feeling in my heart - what is it

2005-10-20T22:55:00.000+08:00

ok.. so i dun really wana blog uch.. cos i think my bed is really calling me.. so my entry wil be short..

im done with my WR!!! thank u thank u soo soo muchh.. i love love love my group members for finally pulling through.. thank you thank you .. and hopefully well get a good grade for it..

yesterdaes entry was my 100th entry.. like whoa... hahah.. after being a blogger since like

the earlier half of the year..

i think i just got electrocuted.. cos my toe is tingling and its a funny feeling... i brushed or watever is hte term against my computer power sockets... hahah.. kewlll... my ferst...

mr bonnie jus really really opened up to me.. though i think he thinks that i dont know wat its about.. but haha... dun tell him that i think i know.. hahha...

im going to look like an utter hag in school tmr.. but i couldnt care less.. since tomorrows a fri... i hope all my sacrifice is going to be worth it.. every single moment of it..

im going to cut my hair.. and i shall get somehing for my hair other than its lotion.. i think my hairs a bit funny now.. haha..oh well.. shall get it cut then..

am fucking excited to see allthe red table gerls in nine daes.. i called them up yesterdae.. it was nice to hear them ... i still have to call one more gerl.. hahha...

ok thats it..

9 more daes to my bdae..

2005-10-19T15:45:00.000+08:00

todae.. i chose not to go to school.. haha.. despite my mommy telling me that its better for me to.. but u noe.. wth.. i was dead tired.. and i dint feel like going.. AND apparently half of my class too did not feel like going to school.. hahah.. yea.. so if we dun have letters when we come tmr.. then were in dead shit.. hah.. it sucks sometimes to have teachers who 'care'.. it sometimes leave u feeling choked..

my wr is almost complete.. thank you... haiz.. im glad that my members well.. they picked up some slack and tried to compensate for the times that they left their work behind.. pretty happy and welll.. shocked about that... we spent hours doing the wr.. and ive finally emailed it to my subject teacher.. phew..

so yesterdae, i went out and buka at sakura at far east with mr bonnie... hahaha.. we met up pretty early.. and wel.. i was going gaga over red shoes.. as in for school.. and he realised that once i have my mind fixed on smth, i wun budge.. hahah... yeah well.. then yea.. hes a real adidas fanatic..haha... oh welll.. and yesterdae it was just us both and we well.. were able to talk pretty well.. except for this lil blip that happened which i think made him broke down.. i think he really wanted to punch this busker to death.. and im not exaggerating at all.. wat the busker said i guess really hit home for him.. and well.. it took him a long long time to recover from it... yea... i didnt know what to say to him to make him forget about it.. not that i dint try i did.. but he was still fixated on it.. so i just let him be.. only when we were at like paya lebar or smth then he started talking to me.. it just made me even more sure that hes still not over his exgf.. oh well..

something happened to mr pinnochio last nite.. hahhaa.. i wana laugh but itd be mean of me.. but it is really funnyy... hahha... i hope hes safe at home now.. ;)

10 more daes to my bdae

2005-10-18T10:23:00.000+08:00

hmm so yet again im in school.. haha.. so wats new right.. todae im extremely tired and i am trying my absolute best not to be cranky or create problems for the people around me.. i am actually surviving on 3 hours of sleep.. not counting the hour i got on the bus home yesterdae... why was i not sleeping when i normally would have? well.. i was doing some much awaited changes to my written report.. and yea.. cos they need to run it through some software and all.. so yea needed to finish that up fast.. and yea.. there was mr bonnie.. talked to him till 2 am.. and i had to call him which means i couldnt lie on the comfort of my bed.. i had to sit at my table and talk.. uncomfy... so yea.. he was umm rather grouchy yesterdae.. something like i called him late.. i mean hello.. yes i said umm 11 but i had things to finish ferst.. and its not as tho i said 11 ont eh dot.. i said 11 like that.. so if i called u at 11 35 means im still right.. argh.. it was frustrating.. i mean its not as if ure my boyfriend u noe.. im just going out with u.. you dont have to do that.. but yea.. i wasnt exactly in a mood to pick up a fight with him.. and to add on to his unhappiness, i had to tell him about irritating aidil twho was bugging me online.. and he got kinda peeved although he didnt want to admit it.. he had this thing against chatting.. so yea.. i felt a bit choked at his anger or jealousy or whatever.. i mean there is no reason for him to do that.. no reason for him to act like that.. and then the part that always tells me to run away from guys was SHRIEKING at me.. telling me to run away form him BUTi dunnoee.. im still here at the same spot.. hmm.. he was umm also nagging at me about my results.. i mean yea.. i know its not fantabulous.. and i noe what i should do in the not so distant future.. AND i already have my dear mommy nagging at me.. i dun need him to nag at me.. so needless to sae.. i wasnt a very happy gerl with him last nite.. ok.. my results are out.. and i am getting promoted.. thank you god.. but the results that i got.. well.. not exactly what i wanted.. i noe i could have done better for history.. ok.. so my raw score is c, e, d and i passed gp.. so im getting promoted.. but i think eventually the results will be c,c,e.. cos its added with all the other class work and stuff that we do.. so yea.. but i am VDisappointed with malay and hist.. the two subs that i could have done better in.. crap.. but wat can i possibly do now rite.. so all i can do is for the future.. bah.. tootsies.. wrs screaming.. 1 more month to mr bonnies bdae 11 more daes to my bdae

2005-10-17T11:33:00.000+08:00

so now im at sch... theyre only returning our results later todae.. which means in a few more hours.. which also means that i have extra hours to kill.. i decided that it would be better for me to blog now and do all the stuff now than later.. cos later at nite ill have to do all my pw stuff.. haizz.. a nite of reading again.. and after all that reading.. were gonna have to finish our whole wr by tmr.. and becos weve been very much behind time.. tmr we have to make our wr perfect.. spotless.. cos we wont have enuff time to like redo the whole thing.. haiz.. maybe i shall read the sites now.. least after i blog..

wats new..?? well.. theres mr bonnie, as always... and theres this other thing that i have been thingking about for some time.. hah.. fil will deem it as intellectual i guess... as im typing this these guys like 2 computers down are talking about chemistry and all.. hhahaa.. chemistry?.. is that a word..?? hhahha.. oh welll..

[if u dun wana read this skip to the next paragraph]

so yea.. ive been thinking.. u noe that umm like for flowers and frogs.. the more beautiful it is or the more colorful it is.. the more dangerous and poisonous it is... so im thinking.. is that also relevant to humans..?? i mean like the more beautiful someone is.. or gets, would he /she become more dangerous..?? or maybe poisonous to human feelings??.. cos i ws thinking that if that was true.. then these beautiful people would be umm detrimental.. ahha.. im not criticising beautiful gerls or guys.. i noe some beautiful people exist and they are still nice and cultured.. i was thinking about some of the gerls around who find themselves beautiful and they are soo mean and uncultured.. and they walk as tho they own the world.. they mite think its confidence but i think its arrogance.. that leads to another thing... beautiful people i guess, are people who do not knoe that they have the physical assets... physical beauty.. and the remain beautiful with their characteristics.. i mean u cant bw a show off about something that u dont noe about can u??.. well.. on the other hand.. there are people who realise that they have the assets physically and do not let it get too much in their heads and remain as they are.. not plastic.. haha.. ive been typing all this but the more i type the more incapable i become on deriving on a conclusion.. i guess beauty and character would forever remain as a vague issue and no amount of debate will satisfy a substantial amount of people.... yeah... so my initail point is.. the more beautiful a person is.. the more harmful he/she gets... [my question there]

so moving on to mr bonnie.. hahha.. goddd ive been talking a whole lot to him.. like for the whole dae yesterdae.. i was talking to him.. haha.. yeah.. and initially i thought that the reason we were talking soo much to each other was becos he wasnt gonna call me at nite.. cos i have school todae.. but.. hahha... nahhh.... he called at nite and at ferst he was like no no go back to sleep.. and i was like nolah.. nvm lah...hahahha... so we talked for two hours before he really insisted that i slept... and now... hes away again.. haha.. but hes gonna be back at 4 later.. i guess one of the earlier trips.. oohh ohhh... i am pretty surprised at myself.. i mean like after mhk i became unable to wake up when my fone vibrates beside me... but surprise surprise.. i woke up all well and good last nite.. which yea.. im still unable to umm get out of my head cosss.. yea... i can be a pretty heavy sleeper... hahah.. magix of mr bonnie.. hahha.. so yea.. we talked a lot... and umm.. i still wonder wat hes doing with me.. but i shall just go with the flow and umm... take things as they come..

a pretty long entry.. and people are reading them behind me and im pretending that i dont noe.. hahha.. people i have a rite to use this too.... buzz off.... nosy pokers..

12 more daes to my bdae..

2005-10-16T18:17:00.000+08:00

i read fils entry and she said that we blog about umm intellect stuff.. hahah.. so yeah.. hahha.. klah.. i shant blog about anything intellectual based?? hahahha.. watever that means..

well yesterdae.. i bought my raye shoes!!! hahaha.. i think its very pretty pretty and sexy maybe??... hahhah... but its talll... hahha.. i think taller than my previous one.. hahah.. i can imagine when we go jalan raya.. filza say.. 'radhiah giler tau..' hahahha.. yea maybe i am.. cos its as good as 10 cm tall.. hahah.. i will tower above them.. hahahha... then ill complain to myself or smth.. hahah.. i took all my raye clothes readi... all purple.. ahahha.. mr bonnie complains about that.. haha.. the fact that its purple.. hahah.. wat only lah he.. hahah.. hmmm yes.. my whole raye clothes almost complete.. hahha..

well mr bonnie.. well.. ive been doing late nights with him.. hahha.. sounds kinky.. nolah.. ive been talking to him for hours and hours at nite.. and i guess thats good??... im not sure.. the thing is i aint that sure wheres this leading to.. and and .. hmm.. he complains that i dun tell him things.. and i get damn shy with himm.. not like that kinda shy.. but another kinda shy... im not making sense but wat the heck.. but i like him lahh.. and hes like u noe.. very nice.. and.. and hes sarcastic and lame.. hahah.. the lame part sounds familiar doesnt it??.. hahha.. he said todae on the phone.. "i wonder how ur husband gonna look like.." and im like ookkk... i think thats a bit far.. and well its got me thinking u noe.. wats he doing with me.. wats the question all for ... wats it all about.. u noe.. well.. i guess i shall move on to other happier mr bonnie things.. hahha.. its early.. but weve planned for raye readi... hahha... but were gonna hav a bit of trouble.. cos hes going to leave for the down under and about a week plus after he comes back, ill be leaving.. so yeah.. dunnoe how were gonna jalan raye like that.. ooh ohh.. i dunnoe why but he asked for my shoe size... hahha.. i dunnoe wat that was for.. hahha.. weird mr bonnie... oohhh and i noe that my bdae prezz is umm related to mini cooper.. my love.. hahah.. yes.. i dunnoe wat hes going to do.. he wun tell me.. and and hes making me eat.. like alot.. hahha.. oh welll.. hes leaving early morning tonite.. and theres school tmr.. hmm.. but he wont be gone for long.. hahha.. i think i shall buka with him lah when he comes back.. kesian dier.. hahha...

13 more daes to my bdae

2005-10-14T21:23:00.000+08:00

i realised that i havent blogged about things that has happened the past two daes..hahha.. and i guess thats an achievement..? hahahhaha.. hmmm....

so todae as open house.. for my sch.. and i seriously and sincerely expected to be a larger turn out compared to last year.. i dunnoe why i just did.. and i thot that we were gonna be real busy. bustling.. u noee..hahah.. but we werent.. like everything that happened, was the EXACT opposite of wat i thought..hahha.. oh wellss... i guess it will always be cheena school... oh well.. were used to being the minority aniwae... hmm..oh well...

i wonder how my results are going to be.. i asked my history teacher how i fared and he said that he couldnt remember off the top of his head... and i think that thats not a good sign... cos if i did good, then he would be able to remember.. hmm.. disappointment one already... haiz.. and cikgu said that seh doesnt noe wat were writing about.. but i can assure her that that was wat our teacher taught us.. and im glad that i have my teacher cos he encourages us to think out of the box.. while the other teacher is more of a conformist.. so i guess thats why she doesnt noe wat were writing about.. or maybe its just wat i wrote that she doesnt understand.. haiz... i am worried abou tmy results.. i shall strictly dedicate myself to doing my pw.. i have been running away from it.. i shall open the file and do it.. i shalll i shall..

well todae... i met mr bonnie again.. hahah.. and i met him yesterdae... but both daes i dint buke with him.. i felt especially bad that i dint buke with him todae.. i really do... and im really sorryyy... hhaha..im forbidden to worry and say sorry from now on actuallyy.. hahahah... god.. so early and he can see thru that.. altho it mite be awee bit obvious for him.. hahah... i really do feel bad for not bukaing with im todae.. he wanted to treat me cos i blew all my money on cab fare in the morning.. but after all the time that i wished he did.. i told him i dint want him to.. hhaha.. DO NOT ASK ME WHY!!well.. i mean i noe why.. but yeah.. he had other reasons for wanting to treat me which he so unshamedly told me.. hahah.. not telling.. and i like todaes date out of all the dates that weve had.. cosss.... we were alone.. then we really talked talked.. i mean not that i mind if his friends were there.. just that his attention would be divided.. and i wouldnt talk much then.. so yea.. i was talking a bit.. hahah.. ok... maybe a big bit.. hahha... but he talked a big bit too... hahhaha.. hehhe.. yeah.. then like it cleared up some of the air that was lingering around.. and and i never noticed this.. cos whenever he sends me home.. ill sae bye and turn ard and wait for the lift and i always always assume that he would have walked off after he say goodbye... but i realised that he doesnt.. i saw just now.. that he waited for me to get in the lift ferst before walking off.. hehehehe... so sweett.. hahah.. klah maybe its just mee...heheh.. so yeah .. yesterdae iw ent to dte with him and then we met his friends.. haha... hmm.. oh well...

15 more daes to my bdae

2005-10-12T20:24:00.000+08:00

ok sumone just killedmy mood.. really did that bad.. i found out something... so arseholic of him to do that.. ergh.. u really make me sick.. u really do.. and i hate u soo much for that.. ure just fucking using her u noe that.. just cos u want to take ur results u start to like comfort her..?? hello arsehole.. u need the comfort more than she does.. argh!!! thank you soo much for bursting my bubble u fucking asshole.. u noe wat.. cos shes my friend.. i wun call u and start hurling vulgarities at you.. cos i noe itll hurt her.. argh!!! u are so inconsiderate..u really are.. u noe wat.. i never thot id say this but i hate u!! omg... ARGHH!!!!!

ok so before this asshole burst my bubble.. i was happy about sum stuff in my life... argh i cun get over it!!! ASSHOLE ASSHOLE!!!

i shall not let this asshole affect me i shall think of sumthing happy.. or rather mr bonnie... can i say my mr bonnie?... nolah not yet.. so yes yesterdae.. i went out with mr bonnie... thank you fai for your tops.. loves loves.. thinking about mr bonnie and being in good company of friends made me really smile thru the dae.. hahhah.. i even laughed... hahah.. i dunnoe suddenly i think as tho i havent laughed for a long time.. hahha.. as in laugh2.. yeah.. ok..

so mr bonnie.. i went out with him in the evening... broke fast with him and all.. then we walked around the bazaar at geylang.. and yeah.. hahah.. we walked thru it like 4 times.. hahaha.. later we met his friends.. but before i met his friends.. least those that were gonna meet us... we saw a WHOLE LOT of his other friends.. like bumped into them.. i lost count at 5.. hahahha.. really it was like walk for about 10 paces and he goes "eh!! dah lame tak nampak.." and he starts talking to them for a bit which leaves me like.. a bit stranded... but hmm i let him be lah.. hehehe.. there was actually one of his friends.. this guy... i think hes from holland.. hes quite cute... hahahhaha.. omg.. i dun believe i typed tat.. hahahha... dang he was cute.. hahah... dun ask me how i knew he was from holland.. hehehe.. ok so back to mr bonnie.. so yeah.. he was seriously bumping into a lot of his friends.. and im like "u have a lot of friends dont u..." it really doesnt take an idiot to see that.. hahah.. and yeah i met his friends.. they were gerls.. and yeah.. they were nice.. noeing or rather meeting them makes u realise that there are all kinds of people out there.. and he admits that he noes all kinds of people.. from the good to the badd... and i mean its the two whole extremes.. yeahh... so ya... i ended up going back later than i expected.. i mean there was not time set for me.. but umm.. i wanted to be home by 10 ish.. and i ended reaching home at 11 ish.. hahaa.. but earlier than kais bbq ahhh.. and and.. he sent me home..!! heheh.. yeah he did.. no nothing physi happened.. that i can vouch/swear to.. hahah.. and i think when i jalan raye with him.. hes gonna take his sis's car.. i hope hope so... yey!! hahah...

hmmm.. so the sale has started.. better start to hit the mallss.. but also the wr datelines coming.. and ive been putting it all off... i shall do it..

ooh ohh!!.. i have a new addition to my already HUGE family.. my cousin in kuantan has safely delivered another baby girl.. whos name is husnah.. and altho i wont be able to see my new niece till shes a bit bigger.. maybe aidiladha.. i love her.. welcome yah babe.. haha..

17 more daes to my bdae..

2005-10-11T10:24:00.000+08:00

hmmm... wat shall i blog about todae yea... hahhaha.. i dun really have anything much to sae.. oohhh.. i got another thing that i want.. charm bracelet.. like the one at isetan.. haha.. too many hints.. cos there u can choose the charms... then i think nice ahh.. hehhe...

yesterdae.. hahha.. the evening was pretty fun.. suddenly the sec4/o4 malay batch were like chatting in the same window all together.. hahha..i dunoe who exactly thought of that but i think maybe fil and kai... hahah.. well it wasnt like a whole lot of us.. it was more of umm only 5.. me fil kai baa and mr pinocchio... hahah... the rest werent around.. was pretty funny i guess.. the taichi and wat nots..hahaha.. it felt good to be talking to them en masse... usually i wun talk to them or talk to them personally.. haha.. love love..

mr bonnies supposed to be back todae.. have yet to hear from him... hmm.. i dunnoee.. i dun feel like seeing mr bonnie.. i can feel myself getting afraid again.. i can feel myself detaching.. uh oh.. hahah... kais gonna have a hard time... i mean yeah i get it.. i shud see other people.. but hmm.. its just u noee not the same.. yes like ive said ive become a commitophobe.. which is soo un-me.. but yeah ive tried and will continue to try ah i guess.. but haizz.. then some of my frens are like sindir- ing me.. oh well.. i take it lightly.. hahhaha... i woke up early todae becos i had jitters... hahah i feel soo virginall...as tho im not used to this.. hahah.. but then again maybe i am... im contradicting myself.. but oh wells... haiz.. tried to find out stuff from mr pinocchio about mr bonnie.. but nah.. most of the stuff i already noe.. hahha... mr pinocchio owes me a story... he dint finish it...

kepada umat islam sekalian.. selamat berpuasa.. walaupun ini agak terlambat.. tetapi.. niat saya baik.. jika anda merokok tolong lah berhenti... kerana ia boleh menjejas puasa anda..

i dunnoe why i said that i felt like it... hahaha... hmmm... so much for nothing much to sae... tootsies...

18 more daes to my bdae

[aliff hope ur operation goes fine/filza get well soon/red table 18 more daes!!]

2005-10-10T19:37:00.000+08:00

hmmm so todae.. this would be my second entry.. i think i shall have a wish list since some people have been asking wat i want... to tell the truth i dun reallie noe either... but im racking my brains now to think of sum stuff that i want... haha

1. a new camera with higher pixels

2. high collared tops

3. a cap that fits my face shape

4.a new bag [school and to go out]

5. straight cut jeans [i hate boot legged ones]

6. i could do with sum lip balm

7. new slippers/sandals

i guess thats all i can think off now... but really i dun expect anything especially if were dining out.. i mean u noe the red table gerls.. i just miss u guys a lot and want the company.. so umm pizza hut yea?.. ill update u guys if anything..

19 more daes to my bdae

2005-10-10T11:46:00.000+08:00

ok soo.. hmm.. i purposely woke up late todae.. i was awake at 8 and 9 but i chose to sleep in till 10 ish.. so yeah... last nite as in the nite nite not the nite morning.. i found out that this gerl i was talking to was umm.. this guy i fancied at mad.. i was like omg.. the coincidence... hahahha... i mean im not sore or beat up about it.. i mean the gerls nice and stuff.. so yeah.. hes real lucky to have her lah... hahah

so the nite morning.. i spent talking to my fren for like hours.. the thing is.. usually when i do that fb would wake up.. but she didint at all.. hahah.. guess she was too bushed form spending over a 100 bux on my brother.. hahah.. so yeah... i guess thats all tat i can blog about now...

oohhh... mr bonnie smsed me yesterdae..so sweet.. after he docked about an hour, he smsed me to go buker with him.. but i cudnt so we decided on another dae.. heheh... so yeah.. i found out some things about mr bonnie thats wow.. like omg wow i never knew kinda thing.. but in the end it somehow showed that he has a lot of courage.. and all.. and yeahh.. i wun go into details here.. but like god is really great.. well mr bonnies on the sea now.. haha.. do i miss mr bonnie?? nahh.. i dun.. not the time or position to miss.. and i dun really have the thing for him yet.. the sparks i guess.. i mean i feel safe and senang with him.. not easy.. but u noeee.. yeahh.. but thats the thing i guess.. i dun exactly miss him.. hmm...

2005-10-09T09:35:00.000+08:00

hmm... so its bright and early.. ok maybe not that bright.. but its the kinda weather i like working and passing my dae thru.. cloudy and kinda dark.. i wonder sometimes why i have this knack of getting myslef into trouble... well i kinda got into a spot with one of my friends [really sorry] and this morning.. well not exactly this morning but like since dinner last nite.. ive been having rows with fb.. im amazed how the name never seems to change.. hahah.. its like a universal known thing haha..

i mean people always say that as i get older id actually get close with my mommy.. but yeah.. that mite be true to a miniscule extent.. but u noeee.... i dun think that is all working out.. and yeah.. god we still have lotsa rows man.. i mean certain things fb does makes me feel so insignificant already.. and it really shows what she really feels u noe.. of course she has a whole lottsa time denying it and all but u noe.. u just noe it and thats it.. nothing else cures.. fb says she does things for me and all.. and im thankful for it.. i really am but when its comes to the litle things, and i mean im the ferst child.. i mean that shud count for smth.. i mean u shud be able to remember things that i like and i dun like rite.. i mean she may not noe it but it hurts for me.. she only thinks of herself.. her pain.. wat about me hah??..

well i guess fb would never noe wat im really like.. she would never noe why i do certain things she will never noe wat are my favourite colours.. she will never noe wat kinda stuff i like.. it sucks but i guess i have to live with it a bit more.. haiz

20 more daes to my bdae...

happy bdae hadif!!

[my baby cuzs whos not that baby anymore.. tho ill noe he wun ever read this..]

2005-10-08T16:23:00.000+08:00

there are a lot of things i wana talk about..well.. about the charged bloggers, the quakes, and myslef... haha.. it might be funny to metion yslef but often thats wat i forget the most..

so ferst the charged bloggers.. well... they got punished. yea. under the act.. but.. they got away too easy.. thats wat i think.. i mean the judge did add that anymore of these poeple causing racial tension would receive a heavier sentence and they would not hessitate to or smth like that..

its just that this incident scares me shitless.. i mean those bloggers had malay muslim friends.. and yet they still made those remarks. i dunno whether either of the is the secondholocaust blogger.. but seriously belittling us to rats?!!.. i think thats a bit too far.. i duno wat to say nemore.. i dun want to say...

the quakes.. quakes recently.. just recently hit sumatra and pakistan.. i pity those people.. especially those affected by the pakistani one.. it affected india and afghan.. i mean these people are already poor and are much in need.. its just scary... i noe allah loves them more.. its just that its scary.. i mean the implications.. i shant explain..

ok me.. hahah.. well ive been disappointed these past few daes.. and i think it cost me my econs paper 1 and 2.. the thing is the person doesn't even noe.. oh well.. wat goes around comes around..its ok.. unoe its really ok.. altho it hurts.. i shall simply imply and understand u from ur actions and that is all there is to it.. the only thing that has affected me is that my resolure to move away has become stronger.. cos i suppose it just added to the already stressful list of things..ive alwaes wantd to just pack up and leave.. and mark my words.. i will do it.. and when i do i wont tell anyine that im leaving.. all ull noe is that ive already left..

well yesterdae shopping with adib ws fun.. hahah both our legs wanted to break... hahah.. and when u think of it we dint exacty walked that far.. haha.. we camwhored a bit especially in the dressing room... well thats about it.. theres more but typing all this has tired me.. i want gwmaa to like sms me tonite.. i was an utter pig that i dint feel the vibration of 2 smses and 1 call.. i dunoe who called i guess him..

21 more daes to my bdae

2005-10-07T21:06:00.000+08:00

i dun feel like blogging much todae..

i had fun with adib... loads

im tired from walking.

im still disappointed.

i will try to do the best for myself

i think i screwed up econs mcq and drq...

great..

i shall do pw.

bye

2005-10-06T14:09:00.000+08:00

u noe wat.. if u think this is meant for u then beat it... i noe who im talking about...if u wana confirm its u... then ask me... ok... i dun believe u!! i really dun. how freaking childish can u get..u noe ... i tot all my disappointment stopped... stopped when i could actually cry again.... but OBVIOUSLY i was wrong.. i seriously dun believe u... u noe u mite think its dumb for me to react this way.. but wth its my blog and i wana talk about u... i duno why u have to do that.. u noe its unjust... and its unfair.. and im really diappointed... how can u ever do that??.. wat u think id do to u.. ill fall and roll over and start begging.. like a fucking sick puppy?? PLEASE!!! ok... i shall stop.. if u ever read this... i dun want to do anything with u anymore... i really dun.... i shall start mugging for econs again.. 23 more daes to my bdae

2005-10-05T11:41:00.000+08:00

hahahha.. i had a lot of free time for maths 2 just noww... fun and funny.. the paper wasnt diff really.. it wasnt.. just that i dun noe how to do sum and that i was too lazee?.. hehehe... i think like people would have died to do that paper... i tell u its easy.... hahah... so there was this P&C question [permutations&combinations] at the word was singapore.. i finished the paper early... then i started to play the game .. u noe where u make words out of long words... hahha... kiddish i noe.. but really.. it was kinda umm fun..? yeah.. singapore has the word pig in it... and rape and nape and gape and lots more... hehehehe i was listening to this somg wheni was going to sch.. and it kinda i dunnoee.. related to smth.. heheh.. baby ure sailing todae... baby ure sailing away sugar dun u worry bout me.. cos only u noe i would be... [then smth smth] if u find that u dun like it if the people there arent inviting and u find that theyre too fightening would u come home.. please come home.. i dun really noe the whole full lyrics.. but yeah... its about there... i noe the ferst two lines are rite.. hehhe... cos maybe they matter most..? hahahha... okok tootsies 24 more daes to my bdae and counting

2005-10-04T16:54:00.000+08:00

econs paper threee... was umm not that easy but not a KILLER either least not as much as history.. im very excited now cos theres only a few more papers to go.. i shall not become like i was for os.. got too excited near the end.. and look wat happened... i shallput my ass down and do the very last bit of studying i need... i am soo craving food now.. theres a lot that i want to eat.. i wana haveee.. lasagna... hotplate [again]... fish and chips.... and tempura and ock... i dun htink i can manage to stuff all that in.. i think im getting my period soonn cos im gaining weight like crazy and im eating like crazy and i keep going to the loo like crazy... everythings crazy... hahah wats new eh... 25 more daes and counting to my bdae..

2005-10-03T14:04:00.000+08:00

hooray hooray!!! 2 a level subjects down... yey!! wooohoooo!! 2 down and one more to go.... but sumone pointed out that i actually have three more papers... welll.... im actually comtemplating not going for maths... really.. hah... 2 papers... hahahaha.. yey yey.. i dun think i want to talk about history.. needless to say ull noe what i mean yeahh.... i found out something about my mum that would make kai smile from ear to ear... reallyy... hahahah... well.... umm.... its october readi.. and yest was the end of mad... as in it should have been.. we were taking pictures as a class.. and yeah it was pretty sad... and kinda funny i guess.. cos we were supposed to be cramming for our papers and not take pictures.. hahah... well... yeah... inds coming for the eat out on my bdae.. yey!!! woo hooo!! bitch fest... hahhaha... and a whole lot of teasing and laughter... 27 more daes to my bdae... woo hoo!!

2005-10-02T10:44:00.000+08:00

oh god oh god.. i really like need help now now now.. i mean theres mad exam todae.. and i hvae yet to study.. and i cun fail any subs for mad.. not even 1... and i havent even finished studying history... ive onyl finished reading the nationalism part.. but im reaallllyy unsure that its actually inmy head rite now.. imean i now sum htings .. i can remember.. but like not all and i cun really remember all these guys name... god help me please. i feel like cryingg..... reallyyy.... i cun take it.. theres just too many things for me to do.. and as im typing this im actually reeadding sea... crap crap crap... i need more than 24 hours for todae.... really i do.....

2005-09-30T22:37:00.000+08:00

ok... so well... hmm promos have been like flogging and clogging my minddd... and im seriously unprepared for the upcoming papers.. and i do mean unprepared.. believe me... eh its like that song that has a line that goes believe me when i sae.. least i think thats the line ah.. im horrid... well i noe whats the second thing that has been flooging and clogging my heart..hahhah.. for me to noe for u to find outt.. tho i noe the people who noe would not have a hard time guessing would they.. tootsies 29 more daes ad counting... woo hoo this is FUN haha.

2005-09-28T08:57:00.000+08:00

hahahah.. im actually awake before 9!! wow!! hahaha.. i slept at like one plus yesterdae.. desperately trting to finish a quarter of my history which i noe dint stay in my head and im trying to reread..i swear its makng more sense now.. i sound as tho i had a hangover or smthh.. oh well.. dint.. but hahah.. im extra happy todae.. shant sae why.. hahha... if u desperately want to noe.. ask me... i shall keep this as a secret .. and shall only tell if u ask.. reallyy...

ok so yesterdae... well.. the dae was like that bleargh... i was reading without understanding.. and i killed my boredom by spending time online.. hahhaha..was forbidden to go out by my mommy.. crap her.. but nvm.. ok soo.. the dae was bleargh.. but when nite camee... whoaaa like suddenly became very happening sia... [i think im sounding more like alligator] like two of my darlings had problems and i had to try to settle it all at the same time.. well.. im not complaining.. but haha.. a bit funny lah.. one too many.. has alwaes been like that.. hahah.. well.. i think its sorted now.. and and... hahah... i noe its a bit early.. but i think i have a vague plan for my bdae this year... ahhahaa... belum puase belum pape dah buat plan.. [oops soory not puase buase ya fadz.. haha] hahahha.. so yeah.... 29 october..[yes fai 29 october.. drill it in ur head.. godd... sheesh] looming within the next 31 daes.. haha.. ok i shall start counting down readi.. tootsies.. hee

2005-09-26T19:19:00.000+08:00

so todae was my ferst dae of the three dae study break i get.. and well yea.. i woke up feeling as tho i partied the whole night away.. which i dint.. .. so yea.. i woke up, showered and then went out to the library at tamp to study.. which im not exactly sure was that productive.. i only managed to finish 2 and a half of nationalism lecture and drama.. other than that i dindt touch.. and i doubt that watever i read just now stayed in my head i seriously hope it did.. really really.. i think i was partially distracted becos i was meeting sumone.. at like 3.. so ya.. so that only means that i have to burn oil tonite to study and complete wherever i ended off... craps man.. oh ya i finally got to eat my hotplate.. like reallyyy...

ok so the sumone that i went to meet is this boy's godfather... yeaa.. so i met hi with kai.. and well he wasnt really wat i actually imagined.. for the better of course.. and yea.. he actually looks into my eyes when he talks to me and heyy i love that about a guy.. the only thing is the age difference.. its a huge difference.. real huge.. i mean yea weve only met once.. and im prolly thinking too far.. but hes really realy niceee... and yea.. gand there are other things lah.. i think..

oh oh he really respects gerls as in really really... i shant go into detaill.. but yea.. slowwww... radhiah sloww.. oh and he fits my bill of an ideal guy least the race part..

2005-09-25T11:17:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAE KAI!!!!.. HAPPY BIRTHDAE FAIRUSZA!!! hahahha.. all the sept 25 babies... oldies... hahha.. kk fine... i shall dedicate the entry to the sept 25 babes only [i read sharinis entry.. yahhh... im in deep shit man.. reading her entry made me PANIC!! my hearst not in its place as im typing now.. crap crap..] ok.. so yesterdae.. hahahha... was damn rush rush at ferst .. and then when i got to kais pit... wooohoooo!!!!! calm fun and yey!... ok.. so yea... hahha... was fun fun fun.. hahahha.. i mean yeahh... hahah.. fun fun fun.. was laughing a bit.. and crapping with fir and wi.. hahah.. the toilet one ahh... damn funnyy... hahahha.... and the monyet one... wahh.. hahahahaha... funnyyyy..... then there was my dear dear daughter.... my daughter.. soo kesain she sakit.. but soo cute.. ahhhh.. i want to bite her cheeks.. god im evil.. how can i do that to my daughter??!!.. hahah.. shes soo cute lahh... i love love love my daughter adriana.. and i love love love the food and ilove love kai.. i love love wi.. i love love fil... i love love fadz.. i love love siti.. in no order here ya... hahha.. dun jealous and get angry ahh... hahaha... nolah.. i noe u wun.. i love all of u with the same heart and soul.. really.. ok.. so seriously.. haha.. i had a bie for like a min or so.. hahah.. andrei.. then it was soo nice seeing everyone there together.. i missed fadzzz.. i miss all.. we PLEASE GO OUT SOON OK!!.. after my exams.. like my bdae again ker??..hahha.. to sumone tho i noe u wun be reading this, im sorry i cun go to ur chalet todae k.. really i am...

2005-09-23T19:19:00.000+08:00

ok.. so todae.. i spent the dae well like that.. myslef.. thats the word.. well not exactly all by myself but with the people around me.. yeah.. haha like duh rite... hahha.. im just crappingg.. can sumone tell me how to make the place where u type on my tagboard white?? i really cun find anything.. i think its becos of the skin.. and it really is i guess.. id better put my shout box again.. im really thinking about what i should blog about todae.. hmm.... well on the bus home i was sucking on a lollipop [god i just remembered wat nas said last year.. lollipop daging!! eeewwww!!] ok ya so back to my chupachups cherry lolly... yeah i was like sucking on it and like suddenly i remembered the time when fil and i after eating with fadz a central.. eating western went to town park like across school to like have haikels texas 5 which he so nicely had given to fil.. haha.. and i remembered that it was literally when i started to find escape in them i mean when i was with fil i dint really like suckit in.. but after that i met mhk and i had his reds and damn i really sucked on it.. i was frigging mad at him then .. so yeah.. after that whenever i ask him for reds he noes that im angry at him.. hahah.. wat a symbolism.. well.. it has been wat umm 9 months since ive come even close to a ciggie.. so yeah im officially ciggie free now.. so's fill..and who said that u cun be ciggie free.. its dead scary wat it does to ur ovaries.. and ur skin.. thats the real reson why i stopped.. i dint want bad skin.. u can ask that bugger that even when i went out with him after the break up and stuff id hide away when he lights up.. well thats another story.. bottomline.. im ciggie free and people shud be too.. really its not that diff i swear..

pretty much a gerls entry

2005-09-22T18:42:00.000+08:00

i was on the bus and somehow i realised that although we try to be miss independent now, we end up wanting the company of the other species and we want to have kids.. so i started thinking of why we want them and why we dont.. the benefits of being single and the demerits of it.. i shant pull all of them else itd go on and on..i think maybe about 5.. if u want to add.. just tagg... [no im not being a sore bitch or loser listing this out.. it just makes me wonder] Why be single? 1.it leaves more time for urself and other activities. 2.not onyl do u have more time for yourself but u have more emotional space 3. you dont have to think whether it clashes with the other stuff that uve planned with him and ask if its ok.. 4. u dun have to like report to him when u got home and stuff 5. you can wear what u want and not crack over what to wear cos u dun have to crack over planning whether hed like it.. [but i think we gerls alwaes plan wat to wear.. haha] 6.[since 5 is a bit biased ill add in this one] you CAN save your phone bill Why be attached? 1. u have someone to confide in [about anything and practically everything] 2. u have a constant 24/7 sumone to talk to 3. u have sumone to do all the weird things with u [when all ur frens refuses to] 4. u have someone to pay for your food 5. u have sumone to tell u that ure loved i dun really have a stand on this issue.. i just well.. i just take it as that.. take it as something that everyone hoes thru.. sometimes alone sometime a couple.. well.. hmm i noe his name readi.. he smsed me..haha.. but i wana ask nas about sum stuff.. but i bet hed just tell me to find out myself.. crap.. i have to start going to school early.. like damn early.. no more disguising myself as a j2.. theyre gonna be there for assembly tmr!! damn damn .. i really hope i can do that.. haha.. other than that i hope that my brain stems and cells pull together.. i honestly have to get it together.. people in school are seriuosly mugging.. this gerl just now was playing with the eblouissaint just trying tomemorise.. haha.. well..

2005-09-21T17:42:00.000+08:00

ok.. so this is like the ferst time this week im onlinee.... haha.. no i havent been mugging.. imfear promos but like i dunwana fear promos..not exactly making sense am i.. but yea...i try to always read my hist or smth.. bt illget bored sitting down and reading that ill wana lie down and when i actually do lie down.. i get sleepy and i wana sleep.. not productive mugging there.. hmm.. wat else has ben going on in my life other than mugging and craving sleep as tho im craving fags... nothing much i guess.. i wonder how was fais malay promo todae.. haha.. i wen tout with her to mug yesterdae.. but as usual i dun.. i keep getting distracted at the gross guy across me at bk and the stench of ciggies that never seem to go away.. bu i managed to finish sea hist political lecture 2... i duno how productive that was... i really dun.. now im supposed tobe doing my econs before my ttn teacher comes.. but im not dong it yet.. i havent really done my maths hwk.. i mean i can do the simple ones.. but the diff one.. godd... i just give up i really just do... god wats up wime man..i have soo lil time to prepare for promos and i still have my mad exams.. gross lah... means i cun study for promos on sun... crap crap..

2005-09-19T09:45:00.000+08:00

the nlb entry is updated.. i put the pics.. i hope they showw blog later..

2005-09-18T13:40:00.000+08:00

so ive been trying to post the pictures i took on fri.. but i shall just forget about it.. so yeah... umm.. last nite.. whoa.. remember the time i went in into class one dae last year and i turned and told my fren beside me that i really really couldnt cry anymore and i told her that it wasnt because i didnt want to cry.. i did, i badly did.. but they just couldnt come out.. well ive been like that since then till now.. so.. that means its been about a year.. cos yesterdae.. the bubble or watever finally burst.. i finally really really cried.. and i was supposed to be reading my hist.. hah.. but seriously.. i really really did.. and i was shocked.. i dont even knoe the reason why i cried.. i really really dont.. i just did and all my heart out.. god that is a long time.. not crying for a year.. hoof... well the charged bloggers.. i mea i think they do deserve it for blogging like that.. but it just makes me think how safe are we when we are blogging or in our ljs...? i mean no matte how "safe" it appears to be.. it isnt i mean internet is public and that our singapore government is watching over how we use our internet and our blogging contents.. welll.. anyway.. i do hope that one of the bloggers charged is thesecondholocaust guy.. i really really do.. i mean i think the guy is really screwed.. psycho.. hell get his retribution soon.. god's ard..

2005-09-17T18:18:00.000+08:00

[if this doesnt apply to u then read below: im not blaming anione yeah i can accept with a share of the blame.. im sorry too.. i want happy and giggly daes too u noe]

so yesterdae.. i went to the nlb.. oh ya before i start, i attended all lectures and tutorials this week.. altho i want to skip mons hist lecture.. im gonna be dead embarassed.. no details yet.. ok so back to the nlb again.. i wanted to go to the nlb yesterdae straight after sch.. but the card was with my mommy so i had to go home and take it.. so i went with fai yesterdae there.. hahha.. it was damn fun.. hahah uuber fun.. to start off we got our usual soda and candy supply at ntuc before we left.. so on the train we were talking and talking non stop.. and the funniest was we were soo engrossed talking that we didnt realise that weve actually bugis.. my mind was still lavender.. and the thing is.. she realised that we were already at bugis BUT when i said lets get out, she said.. no.. its embarassing... i was like wat??!! but haha it was dumb.. anyways we alighted at city hall and went down to another platform and the train was there.. and i was like run.. she was like no.. i was like no wae am i gonna miss another one ok.. but in the end we managed to get the train.. haha.. so when we got there i had to withdraw money [in which is seriously low] cos i needed to get batt for my camera.. which i purposely brought for us to camwhore..haha...

so we went to the market to get the batt.. in which we ended up buying and looking at other stuff and spent a LOT of time there.. hahha.. i really dint mind cos i was enjoying barigaining the stuff.. so yeah.. we went round the place and damn it was huge.. i mean we really really went through every single small lane there was it was FUN.. haha.. and the ferst thing that either of us bought was my batteries.. andthis guy at the shop had rechargeable batts and he was selling it at like 28 and he said he would sell it to me at 25 and im like nah nvm.. ill just get the normal dry cells.. but he was like nvm lah i sell to u for 20 and i dint even bargained.. so i bought them and he gave me together with the dry cells that i wanted to buy earlier.. real deal mann.. hahah

so after that we walked through every lane and stuff.. we spent hours in there.. then we i bought this necklace cos i realised that i dun have like any chains.. i got it for like 8 bux and the original price was 12.90.. deal man.. hahha.. i mean seriously its wat i think its worth.. and if it was more ex, then she wouldnt have agreed would she..

and so later, we bought fais overcoat thingy.. i dun have the pic tho.. we dint have time to take the pic of her stuff.. by the time we ended it was close to 8 or maybe over so we had to rush to the library.. haha.. and the funniest was that we were nearly locked up in the library.. hahha.. i needed to photocopy my stuff.. it was damn funny and it would be pretty cool if we were actually locked in.. hahah.. really i wouldnt have mind... least id get my history done with.. hahha..

after that we were taking pictures like all over anything and everything... it was fun fun fun.. i realised that altho ive known fai for like years i havent like been out with her till like late.. i mean hari raya doesnt count.. and the last deal we got was the cheesecake.. we got it for a dollar each.. hahha.. real fun.. and fai was obviously savouring her cream puff..

so the nite was dang fun.. and i hope the pictures finally show.. we shud do that again sumti,e fai.. after promos yea.. hahah

2005-09-16T09:20:00.000+08:00

ok so iv been using this blog to tell the general stuff tts happening ard me and stuff.. i hvent been writing what i really feel.. really truly feel.. no not about haffidz.. sometimes i get sick at myself just cos i cun stop about him.. realy believe me i am.. no matterhow much i rant about him.. i do wish i woould stop. but someties i cun help it.. he was like the one i spent cruial and important stage of my teenage years with and ido ish thati hadntspent soo much of my time then with him.. buti cun possibly turn backtime and do wat i really wanted to do because of things now... i cun i dun have the power to.. but this entry isn about haffidz.. this entry mite boil ur hearts.. but i really do hope that his will work out good.. i mean not the boiling part but the end of it.. ok so im in my school now rite.. like i say in my friendster profile.. not mny people noe me under my layers of skin and fats.. and yeh i really do feel tat its true.. i mean dun boil over this but how mny people can u honestly say really truly noe u.. i noe that i can name a few names.. and i call them my trueblues.. cos ive known them for practically all of my life and ive been thru soo much with them.. i dun men i expect everione to be my trueblue... i noe sum people are just not meant to be ur true blue... but hey it does freaking hurt when ure left out u noe.. i mean u dun ask me out ot to stud or just have jolly fun.. i mean yea i mite not be going for everi single one of it but the thought counts u noe..nd when i dun go it doesnt mean tat im anti social... u noethat sumtimes u get the feeling that u jus dun want to and u just want to hole up at home.. or ure lazy.. tat mte just be the reason why.. i really dunnoe wats goin on alli noe is that everything is going on without me... yea i noe sumtimes it wudnt make sense to ask me out or smth.. but it isnt common senscal if it doesnt make sense all the time... peace..

2005-09-15T18:07:00.000+08:00

ok.. so i really have to start burning the oill.. really really.. thats all i have to say.. tho i have a lot to.. ciao

2005-09-13T19:35:00.000+08:00

ok.. so nas told me smth early morning that kinda made me happy.. haha i refuse to use the k word.. so yeah.. the like news he delivered.. really ironic man.. and it came from him.. hahah.. god really does work in mysterious ways..hahahha.. so nas fren.. the one that i saw on 31 august the one that nas says hes botak and works at sportslink.. wats ur name.. nas ah.. just tell but not about him.. nas nas nas.. haiyo.. anyway... the reason that i was up in the wee hours of the morning was because i had to finish up my wr.. the ferst draft.. in which i am proud to say that i finished all 11 pages by myself.. haiz.. group dynamics.. but yea.. i dun mind the doing part but i hope that they pull together when its our op.. so elast they be asked, they know what they have to say or answer.. imean least noe ure stuff k.. really really.. so yeah i actually surbibed with five hours of sleep and yea.. muahaha.. miraculous... and i have to study for eons test tmr.. which i partially studied.. but not exactly.. my history sucks man. i mean like overall.. i counted for the sea essays ive done.. its not good.. its like a c.. nad dang.. im not gonna get a c for history.. i want a b.. reallly really.. and that only means i hvae to read a lot more.. a whole lot more..

2005-09-11T11:09:00.000+08:00

as im on the net... im actually watching the tv.. and its suria .. anugerah... ive never been a fan of anugerah.. sumhow i end up watching the reruns every sundae.. weird.. but anytoots.. i think muhd khairil.. mmm hmmm.. hahahhahah.. shud noe wat im thinking.. i think hes quite cute... i wonder about his body tho.. if he has the body.. then hes HOT.. and HEs mineee!! muahahhaha... anyway.. yeah... i really hope that khairul sp wins or least gets into top 2.. hahah.. i think im a bit biased.. moving on... the house is getting a bit unbearable for me.. she really cun sut up.. and when i tell she to pipe it down or amth.. she gets even louder.. i think i mite have to go out and do work todae...or else i wun be able to get any work done at all.. ereally.. im not kidding its really getting too much for me to bear and ill prolly be too infuriated to do any work.. so i guess lib it is.. have to start cramming for the econs test tmr.. i cun flunk it... really.. and theres only a few more weeks to promos.. and econs and hist dae todae... and yea... then at night or smth i start to do the typing for hist or smth.. guess its gonna be a late night tonite.. hahahhahahhaha... i have a new resolve, i shall go for all lectures ... i can and i shall and i will... hahhahee sounds like level camp.. oh well...

jumbles

2005-09-10T12:51:00.000+08:00

sooo.. new skin again.. sumhow the previous one the picture dint come out.. but it was real pretty.. so yesterday, i was supposed to dedicate it to studying at home.. watever was left of my hols.. but.. yea.. unexpected thing came up.. had to flee home.. run away from my dad.. but actually i dint really need too but guess i was just itchy to go and meet adib and sum of her frens from law.. haaaizzz... lawww... goddd.. cud have gone there.. anyway.. so yea.. i had a fun time with adib yesterdae.. hahhaha ..we spent a lot of time sitting down.. and just talk.. thats what we LOVE to do.. since we dint meet last week.. nad cudnt come since she was going to malaysia.. so yea.. i think i noe our after mad meeting up plan... haha.. i will seriously stick to itt!! so dint manage to studyin the end.. tho i actually managed to finish econs tutorial questions when i got back and start ona new book.. so two daes left for me to finish all my assignments and do some catching up and prepare for the wage test.. other than all these draggy stuff... ive changed my home number officially.. so.. if u guys wana noe and get it changed from your phonebooks then ring me up on my mobile yea.. i had a nice chat with fil that dae.. and god.. i never knew i could have done the thing i did.. hahahha.. i hope she and reeza work out.. i really dooo...

2005-09-09T10:59:00.000+08:00

Settle down again.. Gotta see the morning,come quickly Gotta see the line Gotta know how far you're gonna push it this time It's the thruth that hurts It's the truth that hurts more than any other pain It's the truth that hurts It's the truth that hurts more than any other pain Do you feel the beat..... Do you know exactly what to do with your feet Do you believe in this life that you're given Do you know the reason why you're counting on me For your sins It's the thruth that hurts It's the truth that hurts more than any other pain It's the thruth that hurts It's the truth that hurts more than any other pain When god made you he made the moon shine When god made you he made the words rhyme It's the truth that hurts It's the truth that hurts more than any other pain It's the thruth that hurts It's the truth that hurts more than any other pain ok.. so second entry in half an hour but i really love the song and the lyrics.. from this band from uk.. but i think well.. it mite be mainstream in a few years.. thats wat i think.. anyway.. the titles the truth that hurts.. but i love the truth no matter how much it hurts.. u noe.. nothing beats it for me at least.. kk.. shall go find a way to download it or smth..

2005-09-09T10:34:00.000+08:00

yea sooo.. its back.. the connection.. i got the letter after i blogged... haha.. anyway.. i have a mixture of feelings right now and for 2 different groups of people.. ones pure irritation and another relief.. i guess.. but i thin reliefs not the right word to describe it.. anytoots.. i had my aglio olio!! hahahha.. yesss.... finallyy.. i had to cook it though.... yesterdae.. it wasnt exactly the best.. [it was my first time hello..] but yea.. it worked.. u noe... the spice and the cheese part was the bomb.. hahaha...hahhaha.. so people, if u want to have a cook out.. or rather aglio olio.. call me ok.. hahahha... itll be the best uve ever had [soon]... hahha... so we had a wee bit of a prob yesterdae at home.. funny how trouble at home makes me and mommy glue again.. weird... i had that lingering around me yesterdae... i mean i was trying to decide whether it was fake or not.. u noe.. but i can tell that shes enjoying the fact that im taking to her again... anyway.. back to the prob.. its pretty minor to me.. but yea.. knowing my mommy who happens to watch a lot of crime watch, shes blew her top a bit.. and that alwaes leads to drastic measures.. so... anyway bottomline.. i might or rather will be changing my home phone number.. if i noe u then id tell.. or maybe not if ure alwaes calling me by my cell.. so yeah... im gonna make something now... hahah.. seems like im enjoying the kitchen then my books.. hahha...

2005-09-07T10:53:00.000+08:00

pheww... at last.. technology, refering to internet, at my fingerips.. rite now.. the internet connection is faulty.. sumthing about my mum and her password.. dang.. now we have to wait for it to restarted... so now im actully supposed to be doing my hist stuff.. but yea.. we have 2 laptops.. and yeah you noe.. when uve been at home without the internet connection and ure onl listening to the songs in ur computer and playing the sims.. which now bores u to death.. u actually get a tinge of excitement when u have the technlogy back in ur hands... hahhahha.. wed but true... how reliant ive become... so that dae.. it ws officially like the end of mad... and how come u dun ever expect that the last dae of mad would actually be kinda sad but it actualy is.. u actually feel sad that ure not gonna see them animore.. no more the ri brothers.. no more the shut ups and gnarls... no more tellin ifran to cut his hair.. no more loverboy... crap u noe.. really... and there wun be animore ustaz as lame jokes and him sindir-ing me.. its real crappy feeling u get.. i mean the next time we come to mad wud be for exams and we dun get to talk then.. crapcrapcrap... moving on.. meeting fai and nurul m (hopefully) later.. it wud be like our ferst meet since june or smth...i duno why its so hard for all of us to come together and meet honestly.. but it is.. but somehow.. when i haveto meet either of them, itd be easy... real easy... really wonder why.. last week went to nlb to get the stuff for hist.. the freaking library is damn high.. and i took the escalator up and i actually got a bit fearful.. why i duno.. anyway, it has a WHOLE FLOOR all for sea history.. how freaking cool...hahhhahha.. it was wow.. the only downside it has is that there are no freaking tables for u to study... theres all these reading sofas and stuff.. but no proper tables and chairs for u to sudy.. and the places where there are tables and chairs, u cant bring ur notes in.. its only meant or u to read or study their materials...crap.. ud think that a whole new building that has 16 floors would actually have space or u to study...but noooo it doesnt..if theres anyone from nlb reading.. please have an area for us to study.. it would then fit the whole name library, please.. thanks think id better get ready to meet fai and nurul m then...

2005-09-03T22:51:00.000+08:00

todae todae.. we had the walk.. i mean yeah.. we were grumbling and stuff.. but hey.. u got to admit it.. it was pretty fun and cool.. u noe to walk amongst ex offenders and stuff.. i mean a mistake once done is done u noe..u cun exactly like dwell on it for the ex offenders whole life.. i mean thats not fair.. i mean there are others who continously commit crime.. and there are those who are ur serial killers or smth.. and yeah.. i mean that society would find it hard to accept them back.. we have to be sure that the people that we are supporting and accepting... are those who are genuinely truly have repented and stuff.. if they are released and accepted back to society.. and they still do the same old same old.. then yea i guess we'll feel cheated or smth.. anyway.. i noe sumone who was itching to cabut was the one who had more fun.. hahhaha kan nadia kann.. hahahha.. there were the team singapores silat people.. and yeah.. sumone asked nadia for her name..then there was this other older guy that was eeeewww.... he ws like singing malay songs and i was like eeww and laughing.. hahahhah... but yea.. other than that guy... well it was fine..the whole walk was well a walk.. it ws ok.. definitely sweated like crazy... after that we met yati and we went to pasir ris park.. i miss going there... i dint really like open my shoes and let myself free [is that the term for it?] but yeah.. it was how to sae it.. really made me think and yea about the old stuff.. i mean we used to go there a lot and now.. im going there with another group of people and maybe next time ill go there with another different person.. i mean im sure that just now proves something.. u noe.. just a question whether i want to slowly forget about everyting and embrace the future [i sound like some church priesty thingy..] with an open heart.. maybe maybe.. insyaallah.. i wish things would just be better and all these darkness would go away.. fade away.. lose to the light.. i really doo..

2005-09-02T18:41:00.000+08:00

i want my marilyns cd.... nadia.... i want my cds backkkk....!! ok.. i want my cds... so todae.. was well hmmm.. i dunno how to describe dae.. and well yeah... it was like that.. i actually went for gp.. hahahha... in which there was a timed assignment.. and i reached home freaking late.. cos the side gate was closed.. and i took 58.. which was slowwwww... and it literally killed me.. then i took 15 at the bedok reservoir there.. and yeah.. slowed down my whole journey by like almost half an hour.. eupeheumism.. a complicated with a pretty simple meaning.. in laymens term.. to phrase something thats not nice to something nice... i was thinking.. like we use it like all the time.. like daily.. soo.. does that mean that were eupheumist in nature?? humans are eupheumist..?? hmmm.. i wonder.. hahha i guess there are times that we have to be eupheumist.. only that we have given the word a nicer phrase, constructive criticism.. yeah.. we have to be eupheumist when were giving constructive criticism.. hmm.. is sarcasm a form of eupheumism too..?? i wonder.. i mean u aren exactly being like sharp tongued or smth.. ure just u noe.. hinting in a very suggestive manner..? come to think of it.. malays are eupheumist.. as in the olden traditional malays.. we have a lot of forms of eupheumism.. i mean theres peribahasa, theres the sindir and pantuns and watever else that has a for of euphemism in it.. gosh i dun believe i actually blogged about this.. hahahahaha.. oh well.. just thoughts..

2005-09-01T12:34:00.000+08:00

sooooo... teachers dae at coral.... was umm like that.. funn... fun meeting everyone again.. or rather seeing them... there wer loads of ex css people there... like loads.. so first met fil, siti freha at mrt.. and fill was late..hahahhahahhaha familiar jerrr.... then at the guard post, i saw sha sha.. whoa.. he really gained a lot.. he was with his motor... hahahahha i shrieked... ahahhahaha... i saw him at sch... i dang tot he wasnt gonna be there... really.. honest to goodness i tot he wasnt... but he was... dang...yeah.. i spent sum time getting over the fact that he was there later... and then i went i want a bf... and kai was like noo u dun.. and im like.. hmmm... haahhahah then we had our luch at about 4 at dte.. kfc filled with cheese fries and all... i dun feeel like blogging much todae... i still want my aglio olio.. i shall cook it in a few daes...

2005-08-31T08:19:00.000+08:00

so again todae... i am no in sch.. mostly cos im just too lazy to go and the activities are well.. like that... anyways.. i smell something really bad brewing.. i really honestly do... and fuck u noe... i really do appreciate honesty.. so if u would just tell me, then maybe all these mess would be over and done with.. seriously, theres no point doing things behind closed doors in the 4 walls, cos its just going to fan ur frustration and make me one hell of an unhappy camper.. moving on.. so todaes teachers dae.. and well.. yeah.. going back to css later.. meeting fil and all.. u noe.. theres no point sitting down and missing people if ure not going to do anything about it.. if ure not going to move ur butt... then id suggest just be contented with wat u have.. ok.. so i shall seriously move on and stop complaining about people.. sape makan cili dier yang rase pedas kan.. no specifics.. all these grievances of mine.. just the general feeling i have.. so back to teachers dae at coral.. im not sure if the concerts going to be good.. cos sumone i asked said that the good ones were thrown out or something.. cos i think they want to expose performing to others.. dang it lah... wats happening to css man...giler... i really think that they cun get anymore creative and have talent [or maybe noe] to only sing that thing u do... omg... from the first batch to like wat now..? theyre still singing that song?? god.. then wat is the role of the songwriters...?? watever lah css... soo.... nurul m said that osmans not gg to be there... cos hes away on course or smth... dang it.. mr o... there goes the hot gossip and stuff.. haahahaha...hmm.. who do i want to see there?? if there wasa actually mrs ang, i would actually want to see her.. [god.. i dun believe this just came out form me!!] maybe some if the teachers.. i wonder how siti would be like.. shell prolly be hostile.. as always.. shell prolly only smile when she sees nurul or smth...hahahhaha.. somethings never change.. ahahha... well.. better start going..

2005-08-27T11:14:00.000+08:00

ok... i think there is something really wrong wime.. ive been getting these like headaches.. my mum has her own set of weird thoeries.. and i wonder why.. hahhaha... well.. i feel like giving my hair a good cut.. and i mean a good one.. the ends are really dry.. i feel like having short hair.. but i just curled it and mymum would kill me.. it would also mean back to the old wax days again and i really am just too lazy.. i really do love alyssa milanos hair tho...one of the main reasons that i want to cut my hair is becos i think ts not growing.. at least some part of it isnt.. and it bugging me like crazy.. god damn it.. so if its short, it can grow again u noe.. how how how.. anyone has ideas...? there are sum people that needs to be kicked real hard.. damn these people u noe.. freaking liars.. i dun trust them anymore man.. effing arseholes..

2005-08-24T09:11:00.000+08:00

okkk.. so im effectively absent from school todae.. hahhaha.. i think i wont be able to skip school anymore after this.. i think my mum noes that ive been faking.. hahahaha.. damn... i told her that i had a headache.. but it was more of my back aching.. i tot it was gonna break anytime soon.. damn man.. dah discharge pun sakit.. it must have been those strengthening abs thing we were doing in aerobics yesterdae... she made us do tha ah meng thing.. and it hurts.. but not sooo much anymore.. hahhahah.. hopefully ill have stronger arms by then.. haha.. watever lah.... hahhahaha hmmm...w ats been happening.. ? nothing much... work i guess.. anyway... ive already bought for my mommie her bdae prezzie.. i went with adib and nad... to get it.. i wishit could have been longer.. if some people actually came on time??... *hint hint* so yea... but hey.. it was ok.. it was actually the ferst time the three of us went out together... and of all the places that we went. we went tm.. hahhaha... godddd.... hahaha.. anyway.. since mads gonna end this year, i think we should have a seriously concrete plan for the years to come.. as in where and when we should meet u noe...nads being very hopeful tat we shud meet once a week like mad tho theres no mad.. macam she can like that.. i mean hahahah.. nad u shud noe.. hahahahhaha... but really, i dun want to lose the frens that i have made since for like wat 8 to 11 years??... it has been really long since ive known them.. fromthe time nad cudnt stop chewing on smth and adib kept puking grape juice on the bus.. goddd... yeah.. it really has been a longgg time... i think id better book them or smth for my coming hols... watch movie.. and eat pizza again... yes... hahhaha.. i love them...

2005-08-22T11:50:00.000+08:00

ok.. so now i am in school using the com.. like duh! so snyways.. im trying my best to slowly complete my pw.. SLOWLY.. but there are a lot of things that i need to do.. and its not as if i have all manpower excercised.. hah.. well hes giving monetary support.. guess that shud be fine.. i mean theres pw for me to do and the normal homework and the revision for promos and not to mention my maths godddd... haizzz.. theres this one particular thing that is really bugging the crap out of me.. and the content does not refer to my prsonal life at all.. its more of a religion based thing..ok..maybe i have never really exposed myself to all this anti muslim stuff.. but what my stand was that its ur own freaking loss and as long as u dont rope me in or bother me.. ill leave u alone with ur opinions.. ok.. so we had mad yest and there was this guy that raised up this thing that was out up on this website that said that nabi muhammad s.w.a was a pedophile and some other dumb stuff.. i mean wtf!! i do not insult ur jesus or watsoever... i mean if u want to say that id say that ur jesus is one of a white washed guy.. im writing this fully knowing that i noe that jesus was not one of the 25 rasuls.. our rasul was saved by Allah and there was a decoy.. god seriously people.. do not make judgements about things that ure unsure of or something that u have only read like once in ur life.. try other sources.. god.. please lah people.. wisen up.. Allah would give the retribution that u deserve.. wallahualam..

2005-08-21T10:49:00.000+08:00

the house is really stressfull rite now.. im not deeling happy or contented being at home.. theres this earning for me to get out of the house.. i mean she hasnt stopeed screaming since what morning..? no no no.. yesterdae morning.. i mean there is just soo much i can take.. but daes on end and u justdun freaking shut up really gets on my nerves badd... real bad.. i feel like slapping her face.. and shes throwing her temper all around... shes soo dumb.. she thinks that the people in the house arent allowed to have our own opinions.. and she always think that we dun help her.. we do.. but no matter the extent or degree of help we render.. one SINGLE wrong and she starts screaming that we DUN EVER HELP HER.. that pisses me off like mad.. and i think shes lost her sense of shame.. like even when the doors open, she continues to scream.. no matter what.. imh.. if u want a future patient.. maybe u shud try here.. everything else.. well its just about the same.. boring life i lead rite now.. keep telling myself to study and prepare for the exmas buti cun bring myself to actually do it.. and to finish one piece of work takes me an insanely looonnnng time.. darn.. i need to get promoted..

2005-08-20T12:28:00.000+08:00

ok... so i havent been blogging at this blog for quite some time.. its been on a hiatus for my own safety reasons.. i think... and yea.. i have another blog.. but obviously not well publicised.. but i dun mind.. its like just my personal space.. real personal space dalam suatu ruang ysng not exactly personal.. hahahha.. reaminds me of bahas topic.. nothing interesting has been happening lately.. other than the breach of security in school a few daes ago and i think schools getting to be its old boring self once again.. cos.. the color of our lives aka the indon students are gooonnnnneeee... yea.. now were all itching to go over there.. some, more like we are already planning what bag and shoes to bring there...hahaha.. very very early for that.. but nvm... i miss fai and nurl like crazy.. i miss sec school... damn it.. imiss the angin times we used to have and kg and kavin and mole sister and all.. crap lah.. haiz.. and when chin huat will do some funny action and me and fai would not stop laughing.. i miss someone else too.. like fuck man we used to have a lot of fun.. i mean yeah its ended.. but u noe.. like even after everything, we had fun.. hahhaha.. crap lah u noe.. and when we meet , im sure we will all that was there, will be there still ill let it pass and hold my tongue and u would think, that ive moved on.. keyword here: think that ive moved on.. wat makes people so sure that ive moved on.. maybe some part of me already have but there is another part that is still holding me back.. inoe i have and will let go one dae.. but just maybe not yet.. noe all now.. life.. takdir yang menentukan segalanya..

2005-07-21T19:03:00.000+08:00

sooo.... todae has been a relaxing dae and out of breath day for me.. and i mena tt literally.. i really cydnt breathe properly.. so todaes racial harmony dae in school and i was supposed to help out and stuff for the food stuff.. cos tt was wat mlcs was in charge of.. i packed my bag with the yukata and all and stuff.. i was damn prepared and excited to go to school todae.. howeverr.. when i woke up todae.. i seriously dint feel good.. like i was at the beginning of a fever.. so i told mummie that i dun feel good and tt i just want to stay at home.. she said ok.. so i prayed subuh, smsed sum people tt i wun be going to sch.. and lay on my bed and read this novel that mummie borrowed for me.. it was a nice novel.. i thnk all the noels from berahim are good.. altho they kinda revolve around the same old things.. and i guess after reading her novels for some time.. u just kinda noe wats going to happen.. i digress a lot.. so back to earlier on.. i read her novel and later i fell asleep... and i was seriously was gasping for air.. it took me a lot of energy to actually breathe once.. not to mention tt my fever was really hot and rising.. i kept thinking tt it was my last time to be alive.. i realy truly thought that i ws going to die... there was this once i felt a bit numb.. i was really HOT cos of the fever and i felt like everything around me ws dead cold.. so there i lay in my bed with my sweater and my thick blanket.. and i still feltfreaking cold.. this is where the advancement of technology really works wonders.. i called mummie wif my hp to tell her to come back home.. so that she could bring me to the doctor.. so we did.. and i was told that i have upper airway infection.. and i have a fever that was 39.9 or smth... apparently this infection is airborne and there was no way i could have avoided it.. unless i dint breathe in.. so i got an mc for todae and tmr.. and tmrs aj drma.. damn i wun be able to see aini performing.. oh well..

2005-07-08T18:23:00.000+08:00

soo todae... or rather lately ive been stressed outtt.. hahahahhahhaha but really.., its like goodddd there are soomany things pilling up... and before tmrs bbq, im gonna have to finish all my assignments lah.. and that includes econs and malay....it is a bit crap lah... having troubles... i was thinking just now tt i havent exacyly used my brain tt mush.. as in for thought proceesses and stuff... maybe tts why i dint doo good for like my exams all this while and stuff u noe... like ive suddenly become aware of my environment and stuff...

2005-07-07T09:26:00.000+08:00

hmm.. so ok.. todae is like the ferst dae of school for the term.. and im kinda loving it soo far.. despite the fact tt i feel like i dun have enough blood n my brain now and climbing up the stairs to the library [2floors up] felt like i was climbing everest... this is how unhealthy and unfit ive become... i think im already 50 kilos... something tt i have to prevent myself from getting.. i do not want to be 50 kilos.. the max tt ill allow myself to be is 49.5 kilos and tts it.. and looking at the last time i took my weight.. i can only gain 1 kg.. and tts it.. i mean the last time.. to be 48 is like death or something for me... but now since im 48.5... the only thing im preventing myself from getting is 50.. no more than 50.. so tt means i have to lose WEIGHT... and start watching wat i eat again... maybe i can lose the 5kg again like the other time.. but.. i think losing 5 kg wud be too drastic for me.. soo if i manage to lose 3kg ill be glad... anyone wants to go jogging wimee??.. im terrified to take my weight now... esp for pe.. hopefully they dun.. ok.. so on to the other depressing thing... well.. its not THAT depressing.. but its ummm... disturbing... aidil.. i duno wat he is doing... i mean the other dae.. he was like smsing me like nonstop and he was asking me if i was single and stuff.. i mean tts got to mean something rote.. weeeeellllll..... maybe not... he was SILENT the whole dae yest.. maybe it was becos he was working yest and i have to sleep early for school todae... maybe tts it.. but he dint even reply my morning message.. crap him.. there are a lot of things tt are lingering in my mind why he was silent.. one of them is tt maybe he was talking to izzat [sumone from my past, blegh] and then izzat told him or smth.. i mean they mite be frens kan... soo.. yeah.. i dunno mannn... aidil!!!! hahahhahahhahhaha...

2005-07-06T09:03:00.000+08:00

ok... sooo yest was quite and ok dae.. yep..it was an ok da.. but definitely not and ok night... the fb was like screaming and screaming at me and at others when i got home.. she just couldnt stop.. i mean she wants me to listen to hear.. but its seriously a pain when i do.. i mean she said i was screaming.. but did she stop to wonder why i was??.. nooo!!!!! it was becos she was already hollering at me and the only wae for her to hear me is to scream.. blloody hell.. she is one person tt doesnt understand todaes like lingo.. seriously.. get on with it.. last night felt like.. she was overwhelming.. like all her grievances and anger was being thrown at me and i just couldnt STAND IT!!!.. god i hate her... anyway.. the dae.. like i said was ok... had mlcs.. and tt is alwaes funn.. tho we had to crack our brains hard just to plan for their farewell.. but yea.. like i said.. its alwaes fun... the a guys are not MIA!! least not anymore.. azry msged me yest.. i think he had smth to tell.. or maybe not lah..just asking how i was doing i guess.. aidil... well he definitely didnt just smsed me just to ask how i was doing.. well yea.. he was smsing me a lot.. bad bad english.. haizz... and yea.. good to noe tt he isnt mia anymore... hehehhehehe... i have yet to see him online.. i think hes late for school again.. like yesterdae.. hahahahahaha... god.. i am SOOO lazy to go to school tmr.. its like the most packed dae... i mean if i dun hurry after pe...i wun have a break till common linch.. and by then the queue is damn long filled by all the heartless chinese who despite reminders remain inconsiderate to us.. who freakin cares if ur food isnt nice.. u have a gazilllion to choose from and we only have tt one stall.. GIVE WAY TO US NOT UR STOMACHS.. do u noe tt everytime u do tt u are cursed and hated by many.. so stop doing tt if u want people to stop cursing and hating u... there.. do u need more strict measure..? strict measure so tt u can have more compassion??.. godd... *tsk tsk* and its like most of the chinks.. i mean sum dun.. but majority dooo... i hope tt shibly gets the idea in his head tt i dun want him as my bf or smth... i really hope he does..i mean his smses are like suggesting something...i dun want to break the same heart twice.. i just hope he noes... like fai says.. : dier tak tau give up ke??... see... its not just me or smth.. its him..

2005-07-04T10:58:00.000+08:00

ok.. i dun like multiple entries a dae.. but.. i did this yest... but i dint paste it up.. so... yea.. here it is.. wonder if it like true... hahahks.. guess ill only noe it when i noe it... haha.. wat u guys think about it?.. noe anione wif these traits..? hahahaha

Your dating personality profile: Liberal - Politics matters to you, and you aren't afraid to share your left-leaning views. You would never be caught voting for a conservative candidate. Big-Hearted - You are a kind and caring person. Your warmth is inviting, and your heart is a wellspring of love. Romantic - You know exactly how to melt your date's heart. Romance comes naturally to you and is an important component of any relationship you have.

Your date match profile: Adventurous - You are looking for someone who is willing to try new things and experience life to its fullest. You need a companion who encourages you to take risks and do exciting things. Romantic - You need someone with a traditional understanding of romance. A true romantic is a must-have in any potential date. Conservative - Forget liberals, you need a conservative match. Political discussions interest you, and a conservative will offer the viewpoint you need.

Your Top Ten Traits 1. Liberal 2. Big-Hearted 3. Romantic 4. Adventurous 5. Funny 6. Intellectual 7. Practical 8. Stylish 9. Traditional 10. Sensual

Your Top Ten Match Traits 1. Adventurous 2. Romantic 3. Conservative 4. Big-Hearted 5. Religious 6. Practical 7. Intellectual 8. Sensual 9. Outgoing 10. Wealthy/Ambitious

Take the Online Dating Profile Quiz at Dating Diversions

2005-07-04T10:12:00.000+08:00

ok.. sooo... hmm i realised tt i yest.. i wrote all about wat i encountered.. and not wat i felt.. thruout the whole thing,, think i shall start wif tt before i write about wat happened last nite.. sooo.. about the bnss guy..flattered but yea no hope.. a bit men.. but yea.. hahaks.. however about aidil.. he well.. hes quite cute lah.. not hot or like drop dead gorgeous or smth lah.. but somehow he kinda looks like shibly.. i tot like well.. ok lah.. cute.. hes tall tho and has a nice body..dun ask me how i saw... hehehehehe..i just did.. hehehehhehehehe... but like.. the dang part is well.. u wud noe rite.. that part.. i was sooo hopingg tt he wasnt... but i think he kinda realises it also.. so yea... nvm he shall be my fren like alligator or smth.. however.. i have yet to see him online.. hmmmm... where is hee...?? last nite.. i was actually hoping tt aidil wud sms me or smth.. while i was reading orang tua di kaki gunung.. but it wasnt aidil it was shibly... i had a tinge of dissapointment there.. but yeah.. smsed shibly for a bit and then told him tt i needed to sleep.. so ya.. other than these stuff.. nothing majorly interesting tt happend.. mmm.. looking forward to exco meeting tmr tho.. hehehe fun fun fun.. then i can like ask meon about tt amira.. i seriously dead shit dun believe his claims.. so yea.. hahahhaha

2005-07-03T19:24:00.000+08:00

hmmmmm.. okkkk... so for the past daes ive been out.. sat wif my cuzs and my ferst 3 mths fren for dinner... and todae wif my mummie.. went to city hall to get her collection... and at the same time i got topss... hahaha.. realise tt i said tops??.. i got 2 long sleeved tops for when i start to wear tudung.. ok.. so the whole deal wif todaes entry is tt i had wo encounters wif the other kind yesterdae.. ok so lets cut to the whole chase.. yest aft kak nurul left.. i was wif bib.. and we were like walking around tm.. then i got a msg from shibly.. he said [hey.. jalan2 pat tm eh..] im like huh?? how does he noe.. so evidently..hes there in tm as well.. and i called him lah.. ask where he was .. and so he met me and bib outside bodyshop.. and then he said hes here becos of majs yescom.. and im like wat on earth is yescom?! so he brought us to majs boothh.. it was actually schools selling stuff tt they made themselff... but i dint go into any booth in specific.. i was DEAD SHY to go into majs.. so when we were walking ard.. there was this boothby bedok north sec.. i was thinking feena... so we went there lahh.. and there was this guy.. standing at the entrace of the booth.. and he was trying to promote his goods lah.. and hes in tt school.. so while promotingg.. he went : are u malay or chinese..? me: im malay he: really? (disbelief) me: really really.. betul betul im malay he: (still in disbelief) bib: no she doesnt noe her own race he: no.. cos ive never seen a malay wif this skin.. so fair.. im like okk.. ive heard this a gazillion times...but the next thing i heard was not something tt ive heard a gazillion timess.. somehow bib drifted to the back and i was infront of him.. and he did this spin or smth.. and while he spun.. he said, whispering : damn it ure gorgeous... i was like wat???!!! like freaking shocked.. i was like telling bib and we walked away.. altho he was pretty hot for his age.. hess still youngg... so i dun have his name or number... theres only one young guy tt id like to go out wif..but tts another story for another time.. ok.. so in the evening.. i went to out wif my frens to have dinner at orchard.. and we went to seoul garden.. and while we were eating.. me and faezah were like eyeing their waiters.. loads of guys.. hahaha..so we arrowed down to a cute one.. and he kept like serving us.. and i was obviously eyeing him.. and ya.. and then when we left.. thomas went to give him my number.. and before he did tt the guy [aidil] gave him his number.. and he wrote down my number on a piece of paper.. and at nite he smsed me.. so.. hes 18 and hes from ite yishun... hahaha.. havent talked to him since.. so yeah.. im tired from writing soo long...

2005-07-02T11:52:00.000+08:00

woohooo.. i have a new skin.. hahahhaha i dun really have anything much to sae.. i was searching for a new one tt can put up my archivess.. but i just fell in love wif this one and after i did everything then i realise tt this doesnt have an archive thingyy.. hahahahha anytoots.. yeah.. tots and commesnt on this.. i took this one cos i just love the song... hahaha i sound like a soppy person... hahahha.. so yeahh... thots and comments...

2005-07-01T10:40:00.000+08:00

wooooohhoooo!! no more midyears ive eventually sastera paperr hahahahhaha but im not like esctatically happy like i normally wud be.. i think its becos i think i screwed up most of my papers.. and i thinkkk im not gonna do well for them... but like ive saidd.. ill be happy wif as long as i pass the papers ill be very satisfied and contented.. but as alwaes.. whenever we alredy get smth.. were never satisfied and we wished tt we could have gotten betterr.. but hey radhiah wake up u noeee... u dint try ur bloody best... so why shud u bother shedding tears u dint give ur everything too haaaaahh?? hahahahahhahahahahahahahahhaha.. im babbling to myself againnn.. hahahahahahhahahaaa ok.. shall stop noww.. and start reading the addictive blogg..

2005-06-27T18:54:00.000+08:00

the time has come... mid years... ok.. i dun think im sufficiently prepared for my papers... so we had gp and hist just now.... i think gp was fine.. my ans i think were ok... but hist.... i think ill be glad wif just a pass... i dint even manage to finish the paper... like crap lah.... hopefully i get a lot more for european than sea... becos i htink my ans were better for european... crap lah.. ok... now i need to go mug for econs and maths.. i need to practice maths.. after the help i got todae... thanks babe..

2005-06-21T21:17:00.000+08:00

ive been awoken... i realised smth that i chose to forget once.. u guys are gonna see a change in me.. im gonna start wearing tudung.. hahaks.. i rmb the last time i felt awakened.. but i told myself.. lets just forget it.. the next time i feel tt way ill wear it. and tt next time is alreadi here.. and ill wear it.. guys wise.. i already said no to shibly.. i ffeeeellll reall bad tt i had to do tt.. but it was smth tt i had to do... for me.. shibly had no spark there.. i felt no passion for hiim.. so yeah..

2005-06-19T18:38:00.000+08:00

oh god... where should i start.. my crowning glory... its curly.. so tt a yey!! but i LOOK like a black wannabe.. i mean no offense.. but seriously.. i dun think any social group wants a wannabe or trendy wankers.. and i dun intend to be any.. i dun want to be any... but i seriously look like ONE.. omg.. im soo sorryyy for how my hair makes me look like.. i dun dare go out nemore.. i mean just yest when i was going home.. people were looking at me strangelyy.. strange. period. i just dun noe how to go to school.. and it reopens in a WEEK really hope tt itll sumhow fade away.. and its seriously making me feel hot and sweaty.. top it off wif the weather.. god.... [this really sounds bimbotic. bt its true]

2005-06-18T09:24:00.000+08:00

ok.. soo... im writting this before i leave for jb.. mummie said tt i mite be able to do my hair there... so if i look like a DISASTER.. please dun sae it.. cos i noe how bad ill lokk for likr the ferst few weeks.. but at least i have like a week and a day for it to recover or smth.. welll aniwae... on to the guys... umm.. after that, like in the nite.. shibly smsed me like about casual stuff.. then i replied like casually.. nothing like special or anything.. but last nite... shibly dint smsed me.. hmm... wondering why... but anytoots... sumone else smsed me.. azry did.. hahahahahahahahhaaha.. im shoooo baddddd..... its gonna be like a butane/butene/butanol/buthyl [haha i duno if butyl actually exists] hahahahahahahahhaha.. but hes nice to talk to.. but them again.. all three are nice to talk to.. hahahaks.. am i in a mission to get myself screwd or wat.. hahahahahahahhahaha radhiah think radhiah.. focus... ok... so now.. i got to bathe and leave for jb... hahahahhaahahhaha

2005-06-16T12:38:00.000+08:00

ok.. so houston we hav a problem!!! i shant practise discretion for now.. for clearer understanding.. it has n i think will alwaes be a case of one too many for me.. ok.... so i shall stop the intro n jump to the content.. shibly or samir.. [no preference in the order of the names here] so.. this morn i wake up, and the side of my bed vibrated.. my fone i thot.. the screen read. 3 new messages.. so im like.. ok.. lets read.. so i read and also thru my sources.. loong story short.. shibly likes me.. correction, quote: shibly loves me.. me, radhiah bte abdul kadir.. and im seriously confused.. cos i like him.. but i like samir too... shibly loves me.. samir just woke up into reality... so.. im in utter confusion... sometimes i wish i wasnt egotistical.. its like really between guy tt i like more vs guy tt likes me shibly.. i havent replied his sms since.. i duno wat to say either.. samir.. im waiting to see wat hes gonna do.. i noe tt hes gonna give me chocs.. i noe hes still skeptical (is tt e right spelling?) AND i noe tt he doesnt noe abt shibly.. i noe tat im quite skeptical and in disbelief.. about shibly.. theres nothing tt i can do about samir other than wait.. i mean i find the word love an expression of a type of feeling tt is STRONG in short, i find the word love, a STRONG word.. i mean he cud just be expressing himself.. usually i dun believe when a guy says tt esp when theyre not together.. but sumhow.. i believe tt shibly does.. or is close to that.. again, in utter confusion.. REALL bad.. i duno what to think or say... and i definitely DUNNO WAT TO DO!!! so its the battle of the s'es if u guys have any idea on wat i shud think about weigh and consider... or who u thnk i shud choose.... because choosing is inevitable... tag, call or sms me...

nothing special todae

2005-06-14T17:10:00.000+08:00

soo todae... actually tried to study.. really.. like wow.. i remember more of functions now.. especially the composite ones [gf] and stuff.. then i attempted to read the cerpen todae.. but of all the cerpens tat i could pick, i picked the long one.. and since i was on the bed.. hahahahahahaha u should noe what happened.. i felt sleepy and tot to myself tat [oh well i can nap for an hour] but as usual i 'napped' for 3 hours.. hahakz.. makes me quite peeved that i dun hav the inbuilt alarm system like sum people hav.. well i shant delve further in this matter.. tomorrow is a going out day... lunching wif the bahas people and then meeting with cikgu and them perhaps wif fai to the esplanade.. whoopedudum!! i think im seriously screwed for mid years... hahahahaha..

2005-06-13T13:56:00.000+08:00

soo... had reatail terapy wif mommy yest.. and got a new pair of bottoms and new face stuff AND a new WALLET!! hahahhaa yea!! so... im not gonna perm my hair this month.. too hectic.. i really better start studying.. tho i claim tt i do not noe wat it is.. hahahaha if only if i cud get away with that!! hahahahahaha fat hope... oohhh... went to watch mr and mrs smith.. the whole movie screams of HOT!!!! but brads not hot... least not for me.. and i realised tt i went there with like 6 guys wif yati.. hahahahahahaha like 3 each.. hmmmm... ill take azry and meon and i dunnoo... hahahhahhahahha yati can take the rest..!! hehehehe then ya...

thru all this madness

2005-06-08T11:47:00.000+08:00

the aftermath.. the first 48 hours has passed... im getting sick thinking about the both of them they dun deserve my time.. but i wana sae THANK U!! to all that has helped me.. hahahha.. this sounds like sum award speech or smth.. but really.. i wana sae thank u.. for chatting with me.. talking to me and porking out with me.. anyway.. other matters.. my laleennggg.. i havent seen since penabalan.. hahahhahahahaha.. think ill see my laleeng soonn.. rreall soonn.. hopefully.. hahahahhahahhahhahaha and i love my frens and my bantal busukk.. hhahahha... wat does bantal busuk and frens have in common..?? i love them both.. hahahahaha okk.... i smell my body butter now... heheehe.. loves

2005-06-06T15:10:00.000+08:00

u noe sumtimes i really wonder why i still choose to live.. but then again when i thnk bck the reason y think i shudnt live.. its a dumb reason.. ok.. so now.. the new WRONG in my life is non other than the BIGGEST ARSEHOLE = my dad.. (i dun even want to call him tt anymore) ok.. so heres the deal.. tat BLOODY BASTARD (bb) remarried.. like oh wow great...? NOT!! bb married an indon MAID tt was my aunts'... bb DINT HAVE THE BLOODY BALLS TO TELL me or my bro tat he did tt.. i mean fine.. u wana get married.. thats ur own FUCKING business.. but at LEAST hav the FREAKIN decency to tell us.. u dun want to tell us beore u get married fine... but U HAVE TO TELL US at most after u BLOODY GOT MARRIED AND FUCKED HER!!!!! but bb doesnt have the balls to do tt... mummie smsed him last nite asking if its true... but bb still hasnt smsed backed... i found out thru my cuzs... i really dun intend to talk to bb tilll i really need him to get married.. even then i dun want him to stay for the reception.. im sooo not gg to talk to bb... i hope tt mummie gets an overseas posting or smth.. to london or smth.. so we can all go and leave all this SHIT behind... but i realise who my true frens are.. nad and adib... u guys are really the GREATEST and SWEETEST!!! i love u guys... oh one more thng.. dun give me sympathy when u dun actually mean it.. i dun fall for ur false pretences...

2005-05-23T10:38:00.001+08:00

im kinda starting to have a love hate thingy with madrasah.. i dint go to kl aka shopping becoz of madrasah i dint go to skafest becos of madrasah... i mean... ugh.. but it was exams...oh welll.. theres alwaes a next time.. no point regretting... i realised tt sometimes... people dun realli change generally.. pple can throw away all the smaller easy to kick negatives.. but the main course of problemmm.. i think tt can never be kicked.. thats really sad.. aniwae.. yesterdae was a verryy historical mo for me.. i finally managed to get the water tt i was drinking from out thru my nosseee... not tt ive been trying or anything lah.. but ive alwaes wondered y tt hasnt happened to me... imean a lot of pple i noe had that happen to them before.. thank u god.... hahahahahahahahaahahahahaha.. im not so sick to actually try.. i choked lah.. hahahaha. my heart feels empty.. haiz.... wonder wats wrong wif me..

2005-05-23T10:38:00.000+08:00

2005-05-20T08:56:00.000+08:00

ok...so now is part of my ultra long break which i was supposed to dedicate to doing my econs... the bloody essay belum habis.. think ill forgo history lecture qns altogether.. so.... yeah.. im going fo LTCCC YEA!!!! and u noe wat tt implies.... hahahahhahahaa... actually i dun rellie noe either... the penambalan results arent out yet... hehehhahahah... i just had a tummy ypset in malay.. how embarassing... something happend with sammy tho.. hahahahhaa.. making me unsure more than ever... im beginnning to feel jc life... like reallie u can never finish any of the hws they give... only like the simple ones.. even the simple ones also u like malas to do.. haizzz..... sometimes i think i made the wrong decision... maybe i shud have just stayed with o levels and work n get married to sum guy coz in e end tts wats gonna happenn... or i dunnoe... i thot about wat if i went to poly... but i think i wun be concentrating on anything.. and theres gonna be more projecctss to doo.... haizzz... life.... reallie.. i hope they come up with another alternative other than jc poly or ite or private schools.... coz i feelll like i dun have a life anymore... kinda sucks... dun realli want my child to undergo the same life i am rite now... but i guess i have to keep on thinking tt its for the better good.... my better good... its a do or die situation... either make it or break it.... haizzz... oh welll.... no time for regrets now do i....??? gueess ill have to continue to enjoy life in this screwd up way... hahakzzzz....

2005-05-18T09:30:00.000+08:00

my life is soo full of s'es rite now.. not the ass s.. but people with their names starting with s... hahahahaha s floodd... welll yeah... my teachers trying to motivate me by praising my lookss... i noe im an i personality.. butt stop praising my lookkssS!!! i noe wats real and wts noe.. im not deluded u noe.. tts wat i felt like saying to her... but yeah.. its better for me to shut up then... so now she noes a lot about my family background... the divorce and stuff... and she doesnt see y i find it funny bout my daddie.. and noe she is a fan of my mum.. go figure.. haahahahhaha.. least shes nice though can be a bit temperamental... oh welll... im supposed to be studying rite now but at the heck... i was studying like crap yest for hist test and i screwed it... fuck... yeah.. so... lifes a bitch... hahahahahaha i love god.. im evidently starting to cap like shit... shall stop now..

hahahahhahahhaaa.. lifes a bitch

2005-05-16T10:16:00.000+08:00

okkk.... so hieeeeeeeeee long time since i wrote in myblog... hahahahahahhaaa.. so theres this syahrin guy that i heard like me.. but i duno how he looks like.. sammy d has a gf!!!!!! bllooody fuck haahahahahahhaahhaha.. watever... the grass is greener on the otheerr sideee.. my mums gg for holiday this weekendd.. and when the cats come out, the mice come out to play... so people.. ask me out!!!!! hopefully this week comes out nice and rosy... i have a promise to myself to make... shant like arses and jerks... hahahahaa... i wana go for a gig!!!! theres gsc at paradigm on sun.. but i have exam!!!! crap.. maybe go on the sat one... indie nite or smth.. then maybe a hot indie guy will ask me out... hahahhahahaha... ;) lovely... i just finished my pi.. so pretty high now.... phew... with mrs gan as ur teeacher.. ure lucky to meet the deadline... hopefully, i get the exco post.. the results are killing me... hahahahaa.. im writing on my blog when im supposed to be in history lecture... oh well... nvm.. pis more important... haiz... life.. i wonder wheres alligator... i havent heard from him in a long time...

2005-05-04T19:29:00.000+08:00

i found song that matched the tarzan era... its called you.. but i shud have found it earlier... hahahaa.. tarzann... over... anyway.. the past 2 daes of my life have beenn supper NICCEEE becoz i found perfection... and guess wat... not a leo... but theres smth tt makes me wonder... if its ang be another kh... it cun be.... coz im not even turned off... but perfection.... hmm... no ones perfect... but i have no other word to describe... other than hot and perfect....

hahahahahahaha

2005-05-02T13:11:00.000+08:00

im like ahappy shit... sooo haaapppyyy... but tired... went to sch todae.. tho its a public hols... had to go for a econs makeup lessson... stoning in there... weeelllll.... watever it was... when i went home.... i definitely felllt AAAALLLLIVVVEEE.... definitely now hu i ssaaww.. sammy d of toz... utter hotnnessss loves...

2005-04-19T18:49:00.000+08:00

oh god.. i dint see sami dear today.. dang.. oohh.. i won tix.. TIX for the movie coach something hehehe.. bringing dibz for that one.. hahakz.. have to activate my gprs.. i think ive been bitten bad.. bitten by sami... bitten by samis aura.. luring endearing.. hahahahahahahaha.. am i in love?.... hahahkz.. or is tis lusstt?.. someone said this once.. *winks*

happppiiieeeeee

2005-04-18T11:18:00.000+08:00

oh god... im happy like cccrrrazzeee... i finally got a new fone... my mum got it for me.. paying part of it tho.. neways.. its a NNNEEEWWWW ffooonnnneeee!!!! k.. whoo.. breathe... its nokia 7260.. not exactly my samsung e630c.. but wad e heck.. hehehehehehehe.. and the world of cyber space.. here i come... babes.. i promise.. ill chat with u guys more often.. or at all.. hahakz... oooh.. with my new found technology, i realised... that i can actually take pictures of my dear sami boy.. hehehe hahakz.. waiting for the right time... hehehehe.. ok.. im bursting with esctaticity... sounds like elasticity... too much econs.. is ther even such a word.. esctaticity...? hmmmm... guess wat blog, cargo pants and al qaeda have in common.. there in e new edition of e webster dictionary... hahahahaha.. k.. shall stop being square NOw...

2005-04-15T08:42:00.000+08:00

seth and summer hav called it quits ryan walks awayfrom marissa.. summer walked away.. why cun i walk away..? how many more thousand tears must i shed just to walk away.. no matter how many thousand tears ure worth ive been burnt bad.. when will it turn to a scar.. i need it to frreze.. ive been bitten.. i need to noe if i shud continue with my gut.. freezee.. i need to walk away i need to explore.. please...

2005-04-15T08:20:00.000+08:00

My tea's gone cold, I'm wondering why I got out of bed at al lthe morning rain clouds up my window and I can't see at all And even if I could it'd all be grey, but your picture on my wall it reminds me that it's not so bad it's not so bad I drank too much last night, got bills to pay my head just feels in pain I missed the bus and there'll be hell today I'm late for work again and even if I'm there, they'll all imply that I might not last the day and then you call me and it's not so bad it's not so bad and I want to thank you for giving me the best day of my life Oh just to be with you is having the best day of my life Push the door, I'm home at last and I'm soaking through and through then you handed me a towel and all I see is you and even if my house falls down now, I wouldn't have a clue because you're near me and I want to thank you for giving me the best day of my life Oh just to be with you is having the best day of my life

2005-04-12T10:35:00.000+08:00

spongebobs not showing anymore!!! cries He left a card, a bar of soap and a scrubbing brush next to a note That said "use these down to your bones" And before I knew I had shiny skin and it felt easy being clean like him I thought "this one knows better than I do" A triangle trying to squeeze through a circle He tried to cut me so I'd fit And doesn't that sound familiar? Doesn't that hit too close to home? Doesn't that make you shiver; the way things could've gone? And doesn't it feel peculiar when everyone wants a little more? And so that I do remember to never go that far, Could you leave me with a scar? So the next one came with a bag of treats, she smelled like sugar and spoke like the sea And she told me don't trust them, trust me Then she pulled at my stitches one by one, looked at my insides clicking her tongue and said "This will all have to come undone" A triangle trying to squeeze through a circle She tried to cut me so I'd fi tAnd doesn't that sound familiar? Doesn't that hit too close to home? Doesn't that make you shiver; the way things could have gone? And doesn't it feel peculiar when everyone wants a little more? And so that I do remember to never go that far, Could you leave me with a scar? I think I realized just in time, although my old self was hard to find You bathe me in your finest wine but I'll never give you mine' Cos I'm a little bit tired of fearing that I'll be the bad fruit nobody buys Tell me, did you think we'd all dream the same? And doesn't that sound familiar? Doesn't that hit too close to home? Doesn't that make you shiver; the way things could have gone? And doesn't it feel peculiar when everyone wants a little more? And so that I do remember to never go that far, Could you leave me with a scar? Could you leave me with a scar?